Are Men Intimidated By Smart Women?

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Human sexuality has always been an interesting part of our existence. A person’s sexual orientation, which is heavily influenced by social norms and status quo, has an ample effect on their sexual interest/attraction for another person.

In recent times, it has become a norm to hear young Nigerian men and women declare their sexuality as sapiosexual – being attracted to or sexually aroused by intelligence and its use. However, when critically analysed, are we really sapiosexual?

According to a friend, most Nigerian men aren’t sapiosexual; they feel intimidated by smart women. This echoes the recent findings of researchers at the University of Buffalo, California Lutheran University, and the University of Texas at Austin which showed that men are sapiosexual in theory and usually lose interest in smart women after encountering them.

Interestingly, there is an iorta of truth in both opinions. I do like smart women, however, there’s much more going on than merely a meeting of the minds.

Naturally, intelligence often comes with a certain amount of arrogance, pride, autocracy and being opinionated. In this clime, some smart women exhibit sheer arrogance and a dire need to be an authority in the relationship. And this is what often scares Nigerian men away not the lady’s smartness.

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Masculinity often comes with a big ego as well as social and hierarchial dominance. As a consequence, anything that puts men in danger of having their ego bruised or losing their territory makes them scamper and run for the hills.

This doesn’t mean that the man is weak or intimidated by a smart woman – even though in most cases it appears so. In dating, we are being evaluated on far more than our most attractive traits. And as aforementioned, there seems to be a strong correlation between our attractive traits and some unattractive traits.

For example, it is still an enigma why women turn down nice guys. American singer, Mary J Blige said in her song, Mr Wrong Good guys ain’t no fun.” A female friend went further to succinctly explain it. She said good guys have a certain mentality – things should be easy for me because I’m good mentality. The same applies to smart women. Smart women have a similar type of mentality – I am a strong woman who is not scared of sharing my opinion. If you can’t handle this strong woman, you are weak.

Men do value intelligence as much as women value nice guys. Women want nice guys who exude masculine energy and scoof at the constant need for others’ approval whilst men do want an intelligent woman who gives them warmth, affection and peace of mind thus making their lives easier and more pleasant.

Human relationships require social and emotional intelligence, which are based on viewing people through the lens of their own social and emotional needs. Nevertheless, many people focus their attention inward instead of outward. As a result, they find it hard and painful to acknowledge that their strong traits are often accompanied by significant downsides. If you are smart, opinionated and domineering, don’t be surprised if some of your actions turn people off.

P.S. these things go both ways. Some ladies are too awed by a smart man’s intellect and demeanour that they lose interest. They want someone who completes them and sometimes a smart person lacks the qualities they seek in a partner.

TPL042: The Official Report

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As anticipated, the Twitter Premier League (TPL), a popular social media-driven football league, had its premier out-of-Lagos edition, tagged #TPL042, in the Eastern capital of Enugu on Saturday 19th March.

The event, which was held at the University of Nigeria Enugu Campus (UNEC) Temporary Stadium, was hosted by compere extraordinaire, Jude (of Dream 92.5FM Enugu) and the lively Miss Amanda. The day was fun filled and soaked with football action, attracting players and fans from all parts of the city.

Four teams, representing the major areas in Enugu metropolis, participated in the maiden TPL042 Championship. These teams include FC Bisalla, FC Connè, Oringo FC, and Otigba FC, which were formed in Independence Layout, G.R.A, Trans-Ekulu and New Haven respectively.

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The host, Jude, doing what he does best
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Co-host, Amanda does the Shakiti bobo with Africanist

The tournament was kicked off by the youngest team manager in the Nigerian Professional Football League (NPFL), Mr. Amobi Ezeaku of Rangers International FC of Enugu. Then, it was time for FC Bisalla to lock horns with Oringo FC in the first match of the day.

Both teams gave good account of themselves; Oringo FC, coached by Stunna, seemed like they were going to run away with it after coming from behind to lead 2-1. However, they were reduced to ten men after one of their players was given his marching orders for mouthing the referee. FC Bisalla capitalised on their numerical advantage to grab the equaliser and send the game to penalties – which they ultimately won 5-4.

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Rangers team manager Amobi (in black) kicked off the event. (Source: Efe)
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The match officials for the day (Source: Efe)
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Oringo FC Starting Eleven
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FC Bisalla Starting Line-Up. (Source: Twitter)
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Otigba FC players in prayer mode
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FC Connè call unto God to grant them victory

Enugu’s fast rising dance group, SQUAD, took to the pitch afterwards to thrill the fans and players with a mesmeric performance. Soon after, it was time for FC Connè to go head-to-head with Otigba FC. FC Connè looked like the most organised team and had the best team kit but couldn’t replicate such organisation on the pitch and fell 1-0 to Zuggy-led Otigba FC.

Whilst waiting for the final, the fans were stimulated by captivating musical performances by some Enugu’s upcoming acts such as Latino the Rapper. However, the highlight was the ‘Ogene dance off’ between Jude, the host, and DJ Gentle which had everyone screaming. There was also a quasi-marriage proposal; Daccoh was perplexed at the beauty of Miss Scondutch and impulsively went down on bended knee to ask for the nymphet’s hand in marriage – word has it that she accepted his proposal.

Soon after, all attention turned to the pitch for the final between Zuggy’s Otigba FC and FC Bisalla, managed by Mack4, popularly called Coach Ojoo. The game was far from a friendly encounter; even the rain couldn’t stop them from going at each other. Eventually, both teams couldn’t find the net after extra time and had to settle for penalties. And once again, FC Bisalla emerged victorious, 7-6 after sudden death, to become the first ever winners of the TPL042 Championship.

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FC Bisalla and Oringo FC players shake hands before the first game
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FC Connè try to score with a corner. (Source: Click042)
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FC Connè and Otigba FC fight for the ball. (Source: Click042)
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FC Connè players at the break. (Source: Click042)
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Coach Zuggy in happy mood after FC Connè win
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Coach Ojoo in his element
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Oringo FC Coach Stunna looks dejected after defeat to FC Bisalla
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Male members of Squad dance group
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Female members of Squad working
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Boys enjoying themselves
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He just had to kiss the pitch
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Latino the rapper spitting some bars
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The proposal (Source: Twitter)

Apart from the football action, Eazydrug was on ground to offer medical advice and emergency response. However, it was their voluptuous and nubile medics who were the cynosure of all eyes. Everyone at the venue, including the referees, was allured by their natural endowment. As a consequence, some players feigned injuries just to get the attention of the ladies.

The event was also loaded with lots of goodies; the fun corner had people taking turns to play video games, snooker, darts and table tennis. Different delicacies were also served; most notably fresh palm wine was served in a dispenser. Sharwama, small chops by Onyicks, Cakes by Belmond, assorted food by Chincherry, Chevy’s home made Abacha and Nkwobi, Smoothies by Oris, Bolè as well as alcoholic drinks of different brands were also made available.

There was also a book-swap stand, which afforded novel enthusiasts the opportunity to drop their old novels in exchange for a new one. As a result, many made new friendships and reconnected with long lost friends. There was also time for two lucky people to cart away with retrocode shirts in the Retrocode #TPL042 Giveaway Promo.

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Eazydrug officials brought their A-game. (Source: Efe)
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Hips don't lie
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Oringo FC player writhes in pain to get the attention of the medics
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The medics rush to his aid. (Source: Efe)
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Medics walk away after the player is certified OK to continue. (Source: Efe)
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The Medics take a breather
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Otigba FC and FC Bisalla boys shake hands before the final
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The players were all smiles before the first ever 8hours derby
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Under the sun or in the rain
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Fresh palm wine inna dispenser
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A young boy tests his hands against older folks in Video Games
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Video Game enthusiasts seem engrossed here
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Fans enjoying table tennis and snooker at the fun corner
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The book-swap crew
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First winner of the TPL Retrocode shirt giveaway, Akuchi, holding her shirt. (Source: Efe)
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Nnanna presents his retrocode shirt to the public. (Source: Efe)

In the end, everyone had a lot of fun and was sad to see the day end. Enugu has been talking about the event since Saturday, mostly good stories. Hopefully, there will be more TPL042 events in the near future.

Click here to watch the Ogene dance off.

Photo Credit: unless where stated, all pictures were taken by Kefellerworks Photography.

My Youth and Other Unfortunate Things

                           by Moji Ogunkanmi

The Guardian recently did a Lagos week . For a whole week the spotlight was our struggle and chaotic existence. They highlighted something that has been bugging me for some time now. It seems to me that since my move back to Nigeria, my status in society has been devalued.

The bases for my sudden demotion are personal characteristics I never really noticed; but these have now become very familiar because for some reason, people feel the constant need to verbally remind of my new rank. The first charge brought by Nigerian society against me is that I am unmarried.

Although, I have never seen marriage as an achievement or essential for my existence, it turns out that the general consensus on the matter in Nigeria is quite the opposite. I am yet to acquire a spouse; therefore, I am not a full human being. Surely, as I am yet to tie myself up to another individual and embark on the last legal form slavery, I cannot be a responsible person.

Secondly, I am a woman. That is self-explanatory so I will spare you an exhaustive treatise on sexism in Nigeria.

The third and final abhorrent issue is my age. I am young, therefore, I cannot formulate coherent thought. I have no intellect of my own as only older people can think. I am young so only a fool would take what I say seriously. I am young so I might as well be invisible. I have moved from a society where my youth is admired and celebrated to one that sees it as nothing.

I refuse to be dismissed as a negligible citizen. My youth is my greatest asset to this country. Unlike the older generation, I don’t carry around in my pocket the tribal and political pains that have caused much terror in the past. I see Nigeria as a clean canvas for whatever we want to paint it to be.

Furthermore, it’s rather obvious that in Nigeria age has no bearing on wisdom. The older generation has had over fifty years to make their mark; yet they seem to have achieved nothing except one mess upon another, and they are still leading us in no clear direction. It’s about time those grandparents and great-grandparents take the overfed bellies home, sit down and chew kola nut.

Let a younger generation with greater strength, fresher minds, youthful optimism and clarity of vision take the wheel. Too many talents are wasted simply because older people refuse to let go. More room needs to be made for clean fresh air in this country.  Then again, I’m probably misguided. After all, I am young, unmarried and a woman.

Moji Ogunkanmi is a recent Natural Sciences graduate from University College London who recently took up writing as a healthy outlet for all the confusion and frustration that came with moving back to Nigeria from the UK. She writes on her own blog, RationalNigerian. This post is in line with today’s International Women’s Day celebration. To all the strong women out there trying to make it happen in an unbalanced world, Jisike!