Are Men Intimidated By Smart Women?

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Human sexuality has always been an interesting part of our existence. A person’s sexual orientation, which is heavily influenced by social norms and status quo, has an ample effect on their sexual interest/attraction for another person.

In recent times, it has become a norm to hear young Nigerian men and women declare their sexuality as sapiosexual – being attracted to or sexually aroused by intelligence and its use. However, when critically analysed, are we really sapiosexual?

According to a friend, most Nigerian men aren’t sapiosexual; they feel intimidated by smart women. This echoes the recent findings of researchers at the University of Buffalo, California Lutheran University, and the University of Texas at Austin which showed that men are sapiosexual in theory and usually lose interest in smart women after encountering them.

Interestingly, there is an iorta of truth in both opinions. I do like smart women, however, there’s much more going on than merely a meeting of the minds.

Naturally, intelligence often comes with a certain amount of arrogance, pride, autocracy and being opinionated. In this clime, some smart women exhibit sheer arrogance and a dire need to be an authority in the relationship. And this is what often scares Nigerian men away not the lady’s smartness.

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Masculinity often comes with a big ego as well as social and hierarchial dominance. As a consequence, anything that puts men in danger of having their ego bruised or losing their territory makes them scamper and run for the hills.

This doesn’t mean that the man is weak or intimidated by a smart woman – even though in most cases it appears so. In dating, we are being evaluated on far more than our most attractive traits. And as aforementioned, there seems to be a strong correlation between our attractive traits and some unattractive traits.

For example, it is still an enigma why women turn down nice guys. American singer, Mary J Blige said in her song, Mr Wrong Good guys ain’t no fun.” A female friend went further to succinctly explain it. She said good guys have a certain mentality – things should be easy for me because I’m good mentality. The same applies to smart women. Smart women have a similar type of mentality – I am a strong woman who is not scared of sharing my opinion. If you can’t handle this strong woman, you are weak.

Men do value intelligence as much as women value nice guys. Women want nice guys who exude masculine energy and scoof at the constant need for others’ approval whilst men do want an intelligent woman who gives them warmth, affection and peace of mind thus making their lives easier and more pleasant.

Human relationships require social and emotional intelligence, which are based on viewing people through the lens of their own social and emotional needs. Nevertheless, many people focus their attention inward instead of outward. As a result, they find it hard and painful to acknowledge that their strong traits are often accompanied by significant downsides. If you are smart, opinionated and domineering, don’t be surprised if some of your actions turn people off.

P.S. these things go both ways. Some ladies are too awed by a smart man’s intellect and demeanour that they lose interest. They want someone who completes them and sometimes a smart person lacks the qualities they seek in a partner.

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TPL042: The Official Report

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As anticipated, the Twitter Premier League (TPL), a popular social media-driven football league, had its premier out-of-Lagos edition, tagged #TPL042, in the Eastern capital of Enugu on Saturday 19th March.

The event, which was held at the University of Nigeria Enugu Campus (UNEC) Temporary Stadium, was hosted by compere extraordinaire, Jude (of Dream 92.5FM Enugu) and the lively Miss Amanda. The day was fun filled and soaked with football action, attracting players and fans from all parts of the city.

Four teams, representing the major areas in Enugu metropolis, participated in the maiden TPL042 Championship. These teams include FC Bisalla, FC Connè, Oringo FC, and Otigba FC, which were formed in Independence Layout, G.R.A, Trans-Ekulu and New Haven respectively.

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The host, Jude, doing what he does best
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Co-host, Amanda does the Shakiti bobo with Africanist

The tournament was kicked off by the youngest team manager in the Nigerian Professional Football League (NPFL), Mr. Amobi Ezeaku of Rangers International FC of Enugu. Then, it was time for FC Bisalla to lock horns with Oringo FC in the first match of the day.

Both teams gave good account of themselves; Oringo FC, coached by Stunna, seemed like they were going to run away with it after coming from behind to lead 2-1. However, they were reduced to ten men after one of their players was given his marching orders for mouthing the referee. FC Bisalla capitalised on their numerical advantage to grab the equaliser and send the game to penalties – which they ultimately won 5-4.

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Rangers team manager Amobi (in black) kicked off the event. (Source: Efe)
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The match officials for the day (Source: Efe)
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Oringo FC Starting Eleven
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FC Bisalla Starting Line-Up. (Source: Twitter)
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Otigba FC players in prayer mode
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FC Connè call unto God to grant them victory

Enugu’s fast rising dance group, SQUAD, took to the pitch afterwards to thrill the fans and players with a mesmeric performance. Soon after, it was time for FC Connè to go head-to-head with Otigba FC. FC Connè looked like the most organised team and had the best team kit but couldn’t replicate such organisation on the pitch and fell 1-0 to Zuggy-led Otigba FC.

Whilst waiting for the final, the fans were stimulated by captivating musical performances by some Enugu’s upcoming acts such as Latino the Rapper. However, the highlight was the ‘Ogene dance off’ between Jude, the host, and DJ Gentle which had everyone screaming. There was also a quasi-marriage proposal; Daccoh was perplexed at the beauty of Miss Scondutch and impulsively went down on bended knee to ask for the nymphet’s hand in marriage – word has it that she accepted his proposal.

Soon after, all attention turned to the pitch for the final between Zuggy’s Otigba FC and FC Bisalla, managed by Mack4, popularly called Coach Ojoo. The game was far from a friendly encounter; even the rain couldn’t stop them from going at each other. Eventually, both teams couldn’t find the net after extra time and had to settle for penalties. And once again, FC Bisalla emerged victorious, 7-6 after sudden death, to become the first ever winners of the TPL042 Championship.

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FC Bisalla and Oringo FC players shake hands before the first game
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FC Connè try to score with a corner. (Source: Click042)
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FC Connè and Otigba FC fight for the ball. (Source: Click042)
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FC Connè players at the break. (Source: Click042)
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Coach Zuggy in happy mood after FC Connè win
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Coach Ojoo in his element
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Oringo FC Coach Stunna looks dejected after defeat to FC Bisalla
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Male members of Squad dance group
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Female members of Squad working
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Boys enjoying themselves
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He just had to kiss the pitch
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Latino the rapper spitting some bars
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The proposal (Source: Twitter)

Apart from the football action, Eazydrug was on ground to offer medical advice and emergency response. However, it was their voluptuous and nubile medics who were the cynosure of all eyes. Everyone at the venue, including the referees, was allured by their natural endowment. As a consequence, some players feigned injuries just to get the attention of the ladies.

The event was also loaded with lots of goodies; the fun corner had people taking turns to play video games, snooker, darts and table tennis. Different delicacies were also served; most notably fresh palm wine was served in a dispenser. Sharwama, small chops by Onyicks, Cakes by Belmond, assorted food by Chincherry, Chevy’s home made Abacha and Nkwobi, Smoothies by Oris, Bolè as well as alcoholic drinks of different brands were also made available.

There was also a book-swap stand, which afforded novel enthusiasts the opportunity to drop their old novels in exchange for a new one. As a result, many made new friendships and reconnected with long lost friends. There was also time for two lucky people to cart away with retrocode shirts in the Retrocode #TPL042 Giveaway Promo.

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Eazydrug officials brought their A-game. (Source: Efe)
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Hips don't lie
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Oringo FC player writhes in pain to get the attention of the medics
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The medics rush to his aid. (Source: Efe)
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Medics walk away after the player is certified OK to continue. (Source: Efe)
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The Medics take a breather
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Otigba FC and FC Bisalla boys shake hands before the final
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The players were all smiles before the first ever 8hours derby
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Under the sun or in the rain
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Fresh palm wine inna dispenser
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A young boy tests his hands against older folks in Video Games
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Video Game enthusiasts seem engrossed here
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Fans enjoying table tennis and snooker at the fun corner
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The book-swap crew
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First winner of the TPL Retrocode shirt giveaway, Akuchi, holding her shirt. (Source: Efe)
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Nnanna presents his retrocode shirt to the public. (Source: Efe)

In the end, everyone had a lot of fun and was sad to see the day end. Enugu has been talking about the event since Saturday, mostly good stories. Hopefully, there will be more TPL042 events in the near future.

Click here to watch the Ogene dance off.

Photo Credit: unless where stated, all pictures were taken by Kefellerworks Photography.

My Youth and Other Unfortunate Things

                           by Moji Ogunkanmi

The Guardian recently did a Lagos week . For a whole week the spotlight was our struggle and chaotic existence. They highlighted something that has been bugging me for some time now. It seems to me that since my move back to Nigeria, my status in society has been devalued.

The bases for my sudden demotion are personal characteristics I never really noticed; but these have now become very familiar because for some reason, people feel the constant need to verbally remind of my new rank. The first charge brought by Nigerian society against me is that I am unmarried.

Although, I have never seen marriage as an achievement or essential for my existence, it turns out that the general consensus on the matter in Nigeria is quite the opposite. I am yet to acquire a spouse; therefore, I am not a full human being. Surely, as I am yet to tie myself up to another individual and embark on the last legal form slavery, I cannot be a responsible person.

Secondly, I am a woman. That is self-explanatory so I will spare you an exhaustive treatise on sexism in Nigeria.

The third and final abhorrent issue is my age. I am young, therefore, I cannot formulate coherent thought. I have no intellect of my own as only older people can think. I am young so only a fool would take what I say seriously. I am young so I might as well be invisible. I have moved from a society where my youth is admired and celebrated to one that sees it as nothing.

I refuse to be dismissed as a negligible citizen. My youth is my greatest asset to this country. Unlike the older generation, I don’t carry around in my pocket the tribal and political pains that have caused much terror in the past. I see Nigeria as a clean canvas for whatever we want to paint it to be.

Furthermore, it’s rather obvious that in Nigeria age has no bearing on wisdom. The older generation has had over fifty years to make their mark; yet they seem to have achieved nothing except one mess upon another, and they are still leading us in no clear direction. It’s about time those grandparents and great-grandparents take the overfed bellies home, sit down and chew kola nut.

Let a younger generation with greater strength, fresher minds, youthful optimism and clarity of vision take the wheel. Too many talents are wasted simply because older people refuse to let go. More room needs to be made for clean fresh air in this country.  Then again, I’m probably misguided. After all, I am young, unmarried and a woman.

Moji Ogunkanmi is a recent Natural Sciences graduate from University College London who recently took up writing as a healthy outlet for all the confusion and frustration that came with moving back to Nigeria from the UK. She writes on her own blog, RationalNigerian. This post is in line with today’s International Women’s Day celebration. To all the strong women out there trying to make it happen in an unbalanced world, Jisike!

Twitter Premier League (TPL)

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In recent times, we have come to acknowledge the relevance and impact of movements on social media on the real world. Campaigns such as the ALS #IceBucketChallenge and CocaCola #ShareACoke which started on social media have been translated into offline real world success.

Take the ALS #IceBucketChallenge for example, a man living with ALS (a.k.a. Lou Gehrig’s disease) started the Ice Bucket Challenge on social media to raise awareness for the disease back in 2014. And just before we knew it, virtually everyone got in on the act and the ALS Association made it an official charity effort. The campaign was a huge success and ended up helping the association raise $115 million.

In Nigeria, the #BringBackOurGirls campaign also started on social media and helped garner global support for the rescue of 296 Chibok girls that were abducted by Boko Haram. Just like all these aforementioned campaigns, the Twitter Premier League (TPL) also started out on a social media platform, Twitter as a random tweet by football fan Efeoghene Ori-Jesu in 2014. Ever since then, TPL has grown to become a big brand, featuring on CNN, BBC, Guardian UK amongst other big media names in Nigeria.

The TPL is an alternative league with players recruited from Twitter. It is the first of its kind – a social media driven amateur/semi-professional football league – aimed at harnessing the passion of online football-crazy youths in Nigeria on Twitter, inviting them to organize themselves into football teams, complete with logos, guiding philosophies, team colours and jerseys. 

The maiden edition, a one-day event, was held in Lagos back in May 2014 and was overwhelmingly successful, drawing a crowd of more than 500 people and the number has gradually increased at each tournament since. A total of 6 tournaments have been held since then, the last one being TPL 6 on the 19th of December 2015. Drones were even deployed to capture the games from above in the fifth edition.

With the 7th edition billed to come up this May in Lagos, TPL organisers decided to step out of their comfort zone to also launch its first out-of-Lagos edition. In doing so, they chose Enugu, the capital of the South-East, due to popular demand.

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The first out-of-Lagos TPL, tagged #TPL042, symbolising the phone dial code of the chosen city, will be held this month (March 19th) just before Easter at UNEC Temporary Stadium, Enugu with four new teams to represent 4 major areas in Enugu Metropolis. These teams include @OtigbaFC (New Haven), @ConneFC (GRA), @OringoFC (Trans Ekulu) and @FCBisala (Independence Layout).

The teams have weekly trainings, club photoshoots and engage with their new fans through giveaways in a bid to grow local support. However, the teams currently lack sponsors and are calling on corporate companies as well as football loving philanthropists in the city to take advantage of this huge opportunity.

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@OtigbaFC |Alias: Otigba Boys| Team Philosophy - Excellence, Professionalism, Friendship | Jersey Colour - Royal Blue
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@ConneFC |Alias: The Miners of GRA| Team Philosophy: Discipline and Focus. | Team Jersey: Red
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@OringoFC a.k.a TransWarriors | Team Philosophy: Work Hard, Play Hard | Jersey Colour: All Black
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@FCbisalla | Alias: Ndi Egwu Enugu| Philosophy: Hardwork, Team Spirit and Camaraderie| Jersey Colour: All White

 
Furthermore, the TPL is not just about highly talented and passionate footballers competing for the much coveted TPL Championship title; it is also a networking event for youths to connect with each other, strengthen old bonds and foster new longlasting friendships whilst promoting grassroot football. It also provides a wonderful opportunity for young entrepreneurs and SME owners to promote, market and sell their products and services.

As a consequence, there will be side attractions at the event such as dancers/cheerleaders, medical team, food and drink (palm wine, abacha with nkwobi, small chops etc) vendors, great music, video games, snooker, table tennis and Dart. This is a great way to relax after an exhausting week at the office or school. It’s also a great way to support grassroot football and entrepreneurship in the City so don’t be left out, be part of history.

Follow the TPL handle – @thetpl as well as the Team handles on Twitter and Instagram. Also visit TPL’s official website http://www.thetpl.org

South East!
Ndi Igbo!
Enugu State!
This is Your Game!
Support Your Team!
#TPL042 #SeizeTheGame

How Sports Prepares You For Entrepreneurship Part 2/2

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…continued from last post

Focus
In my short life, I am yet to see anyone who has achieved massive success without zoning out people, forgoing pastimes and focusing inwardly. This helps one to understand his/her strengths as well as weaknesses and find a way to use them effectively and efficiently to neutralise the tactics of those he/she is up against. Sports teaches you how to “be in the zone” and close yourself off from distractions. If an athlete/player, whether amateur or professional, can maintain his focus, he has attained a certain level of maturity. As an enterpreneur, focus is important when starting a business. For one to be successful in business, one must stay focused on his/her vision/goal no matter how distracting things might get. And when success is achieved, a focused enterpreneur will have enough in his arsenal to fight laziness and complacency.

Teamwork
For every sports team to excel, the coaches and players need each other. Even athletes that participate in individual sports like tennis, athletics, golf etc need the help of their trainers, coaches and nutrionists to excel. Babe Ruth, the American Baseball legend, once said, “the way a team plays as a whole determines its sucess. You may have the greatest bunch of individual stars in the world but if you don’t play together the club won’t be worth a dime.” The same goes for enterpreneurship. You may have to do things alone to build your business from the scratch (start-up) but you need people to take it to the next level. Delegating some work to team members, who are hungry for success and take pride in their performance, affords you the time to focus on other things.

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Leadership
Participating in team sports gives one the chance to develop some leadership skills by captaining/coaching a group of players. As a result, an individual can acquire social and emotional intelligence, which are prerequisites in leadership. Hear Eddie Robinson, “Leadership, like coaching, is fighting for the hearts and souls of men and getting them to believe in you.” It is important for an enterprenuer to be able to understand his social and emotional make up as well as that of people who are under his payroll. A good enterpreneur must have a healthy open line of communication with his workers. And also maintain eye contact whilst talking with them as this gives an impression of sincerity, honesty and confidence. It is easy to forget about the troubles of others but if one takes time to remember and ask, it goes a long way. People perform best when they know they’ve earned the trust of the leader.
 
Mentorship
There are so many talented individuals out there who have lost their way because they had no mentor/coach to guide them properly. One may be naturally skilled and talented but if the opportunities aren’t there or there’s no one to offer guidance, attaining success will be an illusion. Jamaican Sprinter, Usain Bolt spent his time playing cricket and football at a tender age but his cricket coach noticed his speed on the cricket pitch and encouraged him to try track and field events. Under the tutelage of Pablo McNeil, a former Olympic sprint athlete, Bolt was encouraged to focus his energy on improving his athletic abilities and the rest they say is history. The same happens in business, every rookie enterprenueur needs a mentor to guide and direct him inorder to achieve great success.

Attitude towards failure
Failure happens to us all in one way or another. Even the best falls down sometimes but what really matters is how you recover when you are down. It must be said that failure can be painful and hard to take; it demoralises some and makes them wallow in self-pity. However, it can also spur others to greater things. Former cyclist, Lance Armstrong, once said, “Pain is temporary. It may last a minute, or an hour, or a day or a year, but eventually it will subside and something else will take its place. If I quit, however, it lasts forever.” For an enterprenuer, failure can be a wonderful management tool as long as it doesn’t become a habit. When faced with failure, the entrepreneur tries to keep his head above the water and find ways to be successful. Bill Gates co-founded a failed startup called Traf-O-Data with Paul Allen when he was 17. Their failure later became a springboard to success; their next start-up, Microsoft, is currently the world’s largest PC software company.

The entrepreneurial race, just like life, is a marathon (sports) with hurdles here and there. Many startups fail – even those backed by a huge amount of venture funding – at the first hurdle. So participating in sports can equip an entrepreneur with indelible capabilities and skills required to motivate oneself and weather the storm until he/she crosses the finish line.