“The More” by Chukwukadibia Ude

The more proud you are, the more the bondage of unacceptance

The more stingy you are, the more the bondage of poverty

The more unforgiving you are, the more the bondage of unrest

The more you celebrate your success in front of someone who’s down, the more you keep the person in mental suffering

The more you accuse people, the more the bondage of distrust

The more jealous you are, the more the bondage of planning against people

The more you make jealousy a lifestyle, the more the bondage of falling below those you are jealous of

The more you depend on people, the more the bondage of disappointment/heartbreak

The more cunning you are, the more the bondage of feeling cheated

The more you are quick to get angry (the more irritable you are), the more the bondage of people withdrawing from you

The less considerate you are, the more the bondage of losing people

The more arrogant you are, the more the bondage of loneliness

The more materialistic you are, the more the bondage of vanity/foolishness

The less focus you have, the more the bondage of being misled

The more you complain about people, the more the bondage of depression

The more you live your life for what people will say, the more the bondage of failure

The more you rely on your abilities alone, the more the bondage of stagnation

The more you fail to act, the more the bondage of procrastination

The more you fail to listen, the more the bondage of mistakes

The more you gossip, the more the bondage of darkness.
(You block your own sight while those you gossip about excel)

The more lustful you are, the more the bondage of guilt

The less cheerful you are, the more the bondage of loneliness

The less humorous you are, the more the bondage of rigidity

The less free you are at discussions, the more the bondage of being used

The more you are too open, the more the bondage of disrespect

The less you comport yourself, the more the bondage of low self confidence

The more you appear too simple, the more the bondage of misconception

The more you over praise people, the more the bondage of being seen as an ordinary

The more you say what you are not sure of, the more the bondage of “had I known”

The more you condemn people, the more the bondage of judging people

The more you live a life of competition, the more the bondage of devaluing your best friends

The more you live a life of comparison, the more the bondage of inferiority complex

The more you feel too important or too good at something, the more the bondage of superiority complex

The more tribalistic you are, the more the bondage of favouritism

The more you act as a perfectionist, the more the bondage of seeing others as low standard

The less courage you have, the more the bondage of fear

The more you dirty you are, the more the bondage of disregard

The more rich/successful you appear, the more the bondage of having fake friends

The poorer you appear, the more the bondage of negligence

The more foolish you appear, the more the bondage of being used

The more weakness you reveal, the more the bondage of being influenced

The more you appear too playful, the more the bondage of taking you for granted

The more you eat a lot, the more the bondage of dissatisfaction

The more appear fake, the more the bondage of borrowing/spending unnecessarily

The more you follow those with low mentality, the more the bondage of unnecessary/blind argument

The more you claim you are too brilliant, the more the bondage of being beaten

The more you make noise on a particular course without leading it, the more the bondage of feeling stupid

The more you show off with wealth or position, the more the bondage of irrelevant acquisitions

The more you value too much wine, the more the bondage of spending too much

The more you seek too many women, the more the bondage of worry

The more you seek affair with many men, the more the bondage of worry

The more you live a dirty secret life, the more the bondage of guilt/condemnation

The more you sin, the more the bondage of not praying

The less mercy you show on people, the more the bondage of being judged

The more you betray your friends, the more the bondage of losing them

The less self control you have, the more the bondage of indecision

The more selfish you are, the more the bondage of secrecy and stinginess

The less watchful you are, the more the bondage of regret

The less careful you are, the more the bondage of disappointment

The more you worry, the more the bondage of frustration

The less silent you appear, the more the bondage of trouble

The less love you show, the more the bondage of unhappiness

The more you seek success to beat someone, the more the bondage of daydreams

The more you talk about your dreams, the more the bondage of nightmares

The more you are seen, the more the bondage of being devalued

The more you are afraid of people, the more the bondage of feeling insecure

The more you face trials, the more the bondage of rejection

The more you avoid team work, the more the bondage of remaining the same

The more you refuse to share information, the more the bondage of mediocrity

The more you live above your means, the more the bondage of declining

The less approachable you are, the more the bondage of pride

The less love you are shown, the more the bondage of jealousy

The less you read/know, the more the bondage of concluding wrongly

The wider you read/know however, the more the bondage of criticism

The more you use filthy language, the more the bondage of silly thoughts

The more you act as a false witness, the more the bondage of shame

The more you show too much softness, the more the bondage of being taken for granted

The more you appear too hard, the more the bondage of being feared

The more you complain about problems, the more the bondage of more problems

The more you sleep with someone’s wife or husband, the more the bondage of feeling dead while living

The more you push your ways, the more the bondage of regret

The more you stay idle, the more the bondage of sin/evil

The more you analyse what you do not need, the more the bondage of folly

The more you follow people for what they have, the more the bondage of cheapness

The more you accept bribe, the more the bondage of being perceived as a poor man by the one who bribed

The more you fail to think wide as if there were no box at all, the more the bondage of feeling like an educated illiterate

The more you force yourself to do what you know you do not know how to do, the more the bondage of disgrace

The more you lie, the more the bondage of distrust as well as no peace of mind

The more you chase a man, the more the bondage of hatred for men

The more you sleep with prostitutes, the more the bondage of disregard for women

The more you watch porn, the more the bondage of self induced sex or feeling weak always

The less decent you appear, the more the bondage of attracting wrong people

The more you wear skimpy clothing, the more the bondage of being in the centre of the motives of players

The more you claim too good, the more the bondage of being a target

The more you refuse to change, the more the bondage of same results

The more you drink/eat too much, the more the bondage of having taste difficulties

The more you act as a hypocrite, the more the bondage of being deceitful

The more you block ways for your friends through gossip, the more the bondage
of losing those you advice against your friends

The more you follow the crowd, the more the bondage of “no thought” process

The more you are gender biased, the more the bondage of being right all the time or never being wrong

The more biased you are over issues of life, the more the bondage of confinement with people so unreasonable

The more confined you are, the more the bondage of low esteem

The more you go out too much, the more the bondage of life imbalance

The more you boast of where you are from, the more the bondage of complex

The more you disregard lower workers, the more the bondage of lack of information

The more you fail to teach, the more the bondage of not learning

The more you give conditions for helping people, the more the bondage of low commendation

The more you treat your house girl as
a poor and wretched fellow, the more the bondage of sympathetic betrayal from your good husband

The more you deny people their rights, the more the bondage of being denied in your old age

The more you sleep around for money, grades, possessions, materials, etc, the more the bondage of “no self worth”

The more you kill, the more the bondage of being a beast

The more you give out what you can do, the more the bondage of incompetence

The more you boast about your ambition for money, the more the bondage of trying to impress others

The more you seek only beautiful women, the more the bondage of indecision in selecting a spouse

The more you lie to your spouse, the more the bondage of reduced care

The more your lover hears something about you outside without you telling him/her first, the more the bondage of
disregard

The more you fall for the wrong person, the more the bondage of “on and off” and directionless love

The more the one you love falls for another person, the more the bondage of rejection

The more you neglect the person who loves you naturally, the more the bondage of self pity

The more you listen to gossip, the more the bondage of falsehood

The more you act as a boss but less as a leader, the more the bondage of enmity

The more you fail to smile, the more the bondage of wrong perception

The more you are too objective in your opinions, the more the bondage of misunderstanding from people

The more you show too much concern, the more the bondage of feeling down (because those you show the concern may see it as if you are judging them)

The more you speak too much of the truth, the more the bondage of “having only a few people” around you

The more you get closer to many ladies in the same environment, the more the bondage of worry

The more you criticise people, the more the bondage of pressure to deliver when your own turn comes

The more you give too much support for someone, the more the bondage of bias

The more you laugh at people, the more the bondage of “how can I beg this man to forgive me?”

The more you condemn what you see old people do when you are a teenager, the more you face the bondage of same temptation at your old age

The more you say a church is better than the other, the more the bondage of condemnation in your christian life

The more you gossip about men of God, the more the bondage of falling into traps

The more you keep silent over the wrong opinion of a christian who leads your group, the more the bondage of gossip within the group (Talk to the leader himself)

The more you look down on people, the more the bondage of surprises

The more you expect much from those you feel are the best, the more the bondage of shrugging your shoulders

The less time you give to children, the more the bondage of “not understanding humility”

The less patient you are, the more the bondage of giving up

The less faith you have, the more the bondage of doubt

The more unfaithful you are, the more the bondage of lies

The less your relationship with God, the more the bondage of confusion/wandering

The more indecisive you are, the more the bondage of delay

The less persevering you are in times of trials, the more the bondage of folly

The more over ambitious you are, the more the bondage of losing your loved ones

The less persistent you are, the more the bondage of self disbelief

The more lazy you are, the more the bondage of blindness to opportunities

The more you give up on what you would have done well because you did not look deep, the more the bondage of stupidity

The less questions you ask, the more the bondage of getting it all wrong almost all the time

The less you prepare, the more the bondage of losing

The more you pride yourself on your fighting strength, the more the bondage of defeat

The less you fail to read the word of God, the more the bondage of dying and being inactive

The more you fail to study and practice God’s word, the more the bondage of sin

The more you pay attention to material things more than people, the more the bondage of depression

The more you pride yourself due to your profession, the more the bondage of being the same in reasoning till death

The more you argue with an expert over what you do not know, the more the bondage of feeling ashamed later

The more you over praise your family even when no one asks you, the more the bondage of feeling mocked

The more you defend what people know is true about you, the more the bondage of folly

The less you travel, the more the bondage of a wrong perception of achieving more than others

The less you interact with people from low class, the more the bondage of leading your children astray

The more you tell your children more wrongs about people than rights, the more they face the bondage of causing problems

The more you preach and fail to do, the more the bondage of misleading people

The more you take advantage of people, the more the bondage of disrespect/disgrace

The more you fail to celebrate with others, the more the bondage of rejection

The more you reduce your closeness with loved people because your level has changed, the more the bondage of being devalued

Partial Repentance

“So mi sit down right beside sister Pam
Who ah tell me everything about the congregation
‘Bout Sister Paulette and her gay husband
And how she ah still ah sleep with the mini bus man

Sister Gwen claim she ah Christian
But ah last night dem catch her in ah stone love session
She a do the dutty dance to de Matterhorn song
And say she get de thing them from the baby cham”

Whenever I listen to Shaggy’s Church Heathen track, I can’t help but nod my head in agreement as I believe the singer portrayed everything that is wrong with the church today.

Have you noticed how we deviate from our evil ways when we are troubled and in dire need of God’s intervention in our lives? Yes, that’s what conditional/partial repentance is all about.

Partial repentance means partial escape from sin. It occurs when a person honestly repents for certain things in his/her life that he/she has done wrong, but not for everything. He/she doesn’t see it all. He/she only sees a part of the sin, so he/she is repentant only for the part he/she sees.

Conditional repentance is when an individual repents conditionally/partially because he or she is asking God a favour.

I believe christians are guilty of this, one way or the other. One minute, we are so “spiritual” because we are heavy laden but the moment the loads are taken off our chest by God, we return to our old ways.

That’s a common thing amongst us. I believe everybody is/has been a conditional repentant at one stage in his/her life. We run to God in times of trouble and turn our backs on him when HE delivers us from our troubles.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m not a saint, I’m just saying it the way it is and I feel it is better we repent completely with a pure heart, not just when we need something from our creator.

Repentance is the most noble and beloved form of obedience in the eyes of God. He loves those who repent and it is because of His love for His creation that He tests them with sins so that He may shower His blessings and favours upon them after they repent.

Repentance is to repent from the heart,to train the heart into obedience and to make a firm resolution never to commit the sin again.

Repentance brings about humility and a sense of helplessness that is not easily acquired through other forms of worship.

Let me leave you with this piece of advice,if you take this too seriously, then you really need some church.

Gossip: We All Do That Shit

Gossip is so tasty – how we love to swallow it –Proverbs 18vs 8

Gossip is an ancient means of conveying and sharing facts, views and slur. It is described as the casual conversation or unseen reports about people; the idle rumour talk about private or personal affairs of others.

People have diverse views about gossip. Eleanor Roosevelt said “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people” while Mercedes Lackey said “It’s only gossip if you repeat it until then its gathering information.”

Some perceive it as a free-minded way of disseminating information while others see it as a sin (Biblically, it is placed on par with sexual immorality and murder), hurtful and character defamation. The truth is that we all gossip; one way or the other. We gossip in church, school, at work place, market, mall, social gatherings, home…in fact everywhere. Pretending that none of us is a gossip is a farce.

After all, nobody is perfect and everyone has a flaw to gossip about. For instance, you hear an interesting story/rumour and you find it very hard to digest it alone, so you tell Mr A, if only he swears not to disclose what you’ve told him. Iya! Before you say Jack Robinson, your story has spread round the school, church, work place, etc and the world in general (no thanks to the internet).

Nowadays, gossip sells like sex and it spreads like wild fire. The E! Channel is one TV Station, that is dedicated to gossips and fabulous life of the rich and famous and we are aware of their success. Most magazines and newspapers now have columns for gossip because it surely catches the attention of the readers.

I am of the school of thought that people who gossip ‘A LOT’ are those with low self esteem who desire to fit in at all cost. Some people, especially the ladies, can’t converse with you for 10minutes without gossiping.

Traditionally, women get a lot of criticism for gossiping or should I say gisting as they call it. A male who gossips is a girl’s best friend/companion.

A feminist definition of gossip presents it as “a way of talking between women, intimate in style, personal and domestic in scope and settling, a female cultural event which springs from and perpetuates the restrictions of the female role but also gives the comfort or validation.” (Jones, 1990)

Men and women gossip but there’s a huge gap in the way both sexes gossip. Men talk about cars, sports, alcohol, women, money, weed etc so it endears them to each other, while the female folk whimper and whisper about physical appearance and relationships.

The general rule for gossip is to mind your own business. You don’t want a nosy parker prying in your affairs, so you owe it to them to show them the same amount of respect.

This said, next time you come across some spicy and tasty news, you can use your “fork ear” to sieve the ones you want to assimilate or you can use your “spoon ear” and swallow the news with all the impurities but remember shut your buccal cavity and observe how proceedings unwrap.

Experience

Experience, they say, is the best teacher. The things we go through everyday influence the way we think and behave.

Sometimes, what you read or hear about people’s experiences isn’t enough; you need to have a first hand experience to grasp what the thing is all about.

That is why I don’t believe in success books, relationship books, motivational books and others. I see them as a bunch of hokum. I know some of you are already nodding or shaking your head in agreement or disagreement as the case may be.

Let me use the relationship (marriage) books for instance, these writers paint a picture based on the experiences they have had; a wise man once told me, you can’t write a book on marriage because our experiences differ and I couldn’t agree more.

Some people who write about the success of their relationships, are actually unhappy but paint a Cinderella picture to his or her readers who end up believing every relationship is like that. The fact remains that no relationship is guaranteed a smooth road and people must fight in a relationship. These fights are actually “the rate-limiting steps” that either strengthen the bond between friends/lovers or make them enemies for the rest of their lives.

However, our experiences can leave an indelible imprint in our head/mind, thus changing our perception about things and life in general. That’s why we do forgive but rarely forget. Our day-to-day experiences shape us and we try to re-adjust to ensure such scenario does or doesn’t repeat itself depending on how it tasted.

Let me use this illustration: certain anti-malarial drugs have been used in treatment and prevention of malaria but the plasmodium (causative organism of malaria) has been found to have developed a resistance to several anti-malarial drugs such as chloroquine, once the parasite gets used to the administered drug, it blocks and neutralizes the effect of the drug. The same applies to our day-to-day activities, a bad experience makes us hard-bitten and aids us create a resistance to hard things life throw at us.

That player or runs girl out there wasn’t always that way, he or she she has been a victim of betrayal of trust and heartbreak. Alas! They make up their minds never to fall in love again, breaking other innocent people’s hearts in the process and the cycle continues.

A friend of mine once told me how his friend took advantage of his nice nature and betrayed him. He had given the friend some money to help him purchase a car; only for the friend to abscond with the money.

Another man told me how he helped his family members and the only way they could repay him was to accuse him falsely to the point that he was ostracized by his village community. The man made a statement I’d never forget. He said “HELP IS A SIN”.

To these two aforementioned people, experience taught them a bitter lesson they would never forget, their perceptions about trust and help have also changed and nothing can be done or said to make them feel otherwise.

In the end, experiences are very important but can make us the finest or the worst of men.