Self-Confidence – Page 2 – Random Thoughts Of A Nigerian Youth

February 29, 2016

How Sports Prepares You For Entrepreneurship (part 1/2)

It is no news again that the unemployment level in the country, particularly among youths, is alarmingly high. The President Goodluck Jonathan-led Government tried to curb this problem through encouragement of entrepreneurship
and small business development. As a consequence, many Nigerian youths have embraced enterpreneurship as an alternative career choice.

Participating in sports can actually help prepare the Nigerian youth for enterprenurship. Personally, I have been playing and watching sports since I was 5. Even though I don’t get to play and watch sports as much as I would like anymore, I have come to realise there are interesting similarities between sports and enterpreneurship.

Passion
This is a very key element in sports. If you are passionate to be the best in the sports you love, you can take that passion into everything you do, including enterpreneurship. A passionate person is always ready to go extra miles and get things done. This is essential in enterpreneurship. Most entrepreneurs are driven by a passion for their business. It is the force that keeps them working when things are falling apart.

Work Ethic
Sports is the epitome of hardwork, desire and dedication. Sometimes talent is not just enough. There is a common saying that “Hard work beats talent if talent doesn’t work hard.” Sports can prepare one for the rigours and uncertainty that come with the enterprenuerial journey. Take heed to the words of former American baseballer, Derek Jeter, “There may be people that have more talent than you but there is no excuse for anyone to work harder than you do.”

Preparation
Former American swimmer and nine-time Olympic champion, Mark Spitz once said, “If you fail to prepare, you are prepared to fail.” Preparation is crucial in sports. Every sportsman trains and prepares very hard to have a competitive edge over his closest rivals. The same happens in business; it is hard to see a successful entrepreneur wake up one day and start a business the next. He must develop his invention idea into a product, find the right market for his product, determine how to reach them and also come up with a detailed plan on how to beat his/her competition, and that takes time and effort. It must be said that preparation is not a guaranteee that one will be successful but it increases the odds. Always remember the words of late Joe Paterno, American college football hall of famer “the will to win is important but the will to prepare is vital.”

Self-Confidence
Self-confidence, not self-obession, is crucial to success in all aspects of life. Without self-confidence, we struggle to fit in. Sports helps raise the confidence level of an individual and this can trickle into all areas of the individual’s life. According to Dan O’Brien, former American decathlete and Olympic Gold medallist, “For many of us, who struggle with ‘fitting in’ or our identity – sports gives us our first face of confidence. That first bit of confidence can be a gateway to many other great things.” An enterprenuer must be self-confident to reach the zenith of his/her endeavours. Self-confidence allows one to take calculated risks but without self-confidence one will be scared to take risks and even if/when you do, nobody will believe in the risks you take.

Self-Discipline
This is one special quality that many successful people have acknowledged can lead to greater success, accomplishment and happiness in life. No personal goal or achievement can be reached without self-discipline. Lou Holtz, American College Football Hall of famer, once said, “Without self discipline, success is impossible, period.” Weakness for the bottle and women, drugs and gambling have ruined so many people. Sports can help one develop self discipline that can lead to success in all areas of life. This is in line with the words of Bob Cousy, a former American Basketball player, “Sports gives your life structure, discipline and a genuine, sincere, pure fulfilment that few other areas of endeavour provide.” In Sir Alex Ferguson’s book with Sir Michael Moritz, Leading, he praised Cristiano Ronaldo’s self-discipline not to deface his body, smoke or drink. He also said that Ronaldo keeps himself at about three kilograms below his natural weight to help him maintain his pace. Ronaldo is smart enough to know that if he doesn’t stick to his healthy lifestyle, he will regress. Every enterprenuer needs Ronaldo-esque self-discipline inorder not run his business into the ground.

….To be continued

August 19, 2015September 13, 2015

Pay Attention To Your Feedback

As a Nigerian, I have come to realise that one of the things we, as a people, are often afraid of is people’s criticisms/negative feedback. No one likes to be criticised so we tend to develop strong resistance and reluctance to it.

Critiques often trigger strong emotions in us all. We tend to get bitter, angry or try to hurt people who have offered their critiques. We create a defensive stance to protect our self-worth which we feel is under vicious attack.

As a result, we try to disconnect from our social environment and prefer to live in our heads or associate with people who share our ideas and values. We develop an intemperate dislike for other people’s values/opinions and grow insensitive to people’s differences.

Our environment encompasses people from different cultures and backgrounds who we interact with on a daily basis. We fail to understand that paying attention to our environment is necessary for human survival.

Almost everything we do is for the public – large or small. For instance, an entrepreneur develops his/her products for public consumption, a teacher/lecturer does his job for his students (public), the students do their school work to impress their teachers (public), the public office holders serve the poor masses etc. Thus, no matter what you do, we depend on people’s feedback to forge ahead.

Your ideas/work may seem brilliant to you but without feedback from people, our ideas/endeavours become especial and illusions. Hear American Rapper 50 Cent, “The public is never wrong. When people don’t respond to what you do, they are telling you something loud and clear. You’re just not listening.

I remember when I presented a scientific paper about a year ago. In my head, I did pretty Ok amid the response from the audience but the examiners thought otherwise. Although they commended my delivery, they critiqued the information. I was disappointed at first but after meeting with them privately, areas of the presentation that were flawed and needed to be worked on became magnified/clearer to me.

Just as I had thought, we often deceive ourselves into thinking we have an insight into how the public feels about us/our work but this information is often tainted and false. This is because we prefer to surround ourselves with friends/family or sycophants who may envy or praise our every move thereby creating a distance between us and the real information out there (the public).

For example, our politicians/leaders/public office holders distance themselves from the people they represent, lecturers distance themselves from the students they teach, employers/superiors distance themselves from the employees/subordinates thereby creating a huge communication gap and thence false feedback from the public. Distancing yourself from the public can be tragic because feedback is so crucial to success. By bridging this gap, we encourage direct interaction with the public and allow them to voice their criticisms and feedback.

It is impossible to please everyone or control what other people will say, whether they’ll approve or share their opinions but the strength of interacting with the public does not come from the quantity but the quality of your feedback. If you have little or no access to the public, then how do you learn from your mistakes? How do you improve? How do you know you are ignorant? How do you know what the people want?

Criticisms and critiques are never easy to receive/accept but they give you an idea how people see you. Pay attention to your feedback, the most important information in the world, and transform it into an opportunity for personal growth, emotional development, time efficiency, improved relationships, and self-confidence.

Thank you for making out time to read this article. If you have enjoyed it, please comment and share your views on this issue. Also, do like, share and follow the blog.

July 30, 2015September 13, 2015

My Child Must Be A…

Growing up as a Nigerian child can be mentally hard. Pardon me for generalising; Yes! I know Nigeria is enormous with over 250 ethnic groups and I cannot speak for everyone but I have found out that Nigerian children, no matter where they grow up, are raised in similar ways.

I was in South London sometime ago and a Nigerian woman complained bitterly about the academic capabilities of her 6-year old daughter (Yes! You read that right). She feels the daughter isn’t as smart as her peers and this makes her worry. She had already planned that the little girl would be a doctor in future and as a result, she hired a private tutor to teach the child after school hours which means the little girl arrives home at about 5pm every weekday.

Many Nigerian parents, just like the aforementioned lady, put pressure on their children, especially the oldest child, to do well in academics. Infact, they have unrealistic expectations that you must be the best at everything; it is not debatable. Even if you get an A and finish as the second best student, they will probably still ask, “The person that came first, does he/she have three heads?” Thereby making their children too result-oriented.

It is absolutely of great importance that parents support their kids’ academic pursuit but there is growing concern that Nigerian parents put too much pressure on their kids beyond their capabilities and abilities. Whilst some parents want their kids to study 24 hours of the day (TDB) with minimal or no play time, in hope they will grow to become the next Albert Einstein, others favour and praise the academically sound ones over the poorly academic ones.

Putting children under intense pressure can be devastating to their psychological development. Consequently, they develop a certain type of mentality that makes them believe they are worthless without academic success thus cultivating sibling rivalry.

Some children may also develop perfectionistic traits as they put too much pressure on themselves to please their parents and other family members. In my little experience so far, many believe they are only studying for their parents, not for themselves, but are afraid to voice their opinions. Many struggle to establish autonomy and often succumb to depression, sickness, alcohol and drug abuse, psychosis, emotional trauma, low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.

Parenting is hard work; it must be said that parents who put too much pressure on their children never do it with the intention to harm them. Naturally, everyone expects a profitable return on the investments they make and parents are no different. They want to see a return on the investment of money/time that goes into raising their children (school fees are not easy to come by).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting high targets for your children however when these expectations seem to overhelm them, there is need for us to re-evaluate and soft pedal a little bit. Nigerian parents need to realise that every child is different; some are early developers whilst others are late developers. Also, not all children will be academically sound and the best you can do is to encourage them to be better whilst exploring other talents/skills your kids possess.

Some parents do this because they want their children to achieve more than they did. Recently, psychology experts revealed that parents who put extreme pressure on their children are only trying to live/achieve their failed dreams through their children. This gives them great fulfillment and pride, as some see it as a “straightforward validation of their parenting skills.” Professor Brad Bushman of Ohio State Univerisity, who coauthored the research said, “Parents then may bask in the reflected glory of their children, and lose some of the feelings of regret and disappointment that they couldn’t achieve these same goals.”

Furthermore, the emergence of social media (Facebook, BBM, Twitter, Whatsapp, Instagram etc) have unintentionally heaped pressure on many to achieve and some extend this pressure to their children. We are always notified about the events in everyone’s lives – especially their achievements so there’s increased pressure on kids to excel academically so parents can secretly boast that they have the best children ever.

A child should be allowed to follow his/her own path in life, not the path of his or her parents. All he/she needs is parental guidance and support!

Thank you for making out time to read this article. If you have enjoyed it, please comment and share your views on this issue. Also, do like, share and follow the blog.