Me, You and Sad Songs

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Emotions are frequent companions in our lives. They can’t be controlled; they come and go like the weather. Nevertheless, music has a powerful influence on our emotions. For instance, human beings are so fixated on the idea of happiness. This is why Pharell Williams’ “Happy” was a massive hit.

However, British music acts Adele and Sam Smith have received global recognition and scooped various awards for belting out sad heartbreaking songs. When Adele released her new album “25” recently, the Internet was thrown into ‘sadness.’ Virtually everybody had her single “Hello” on repeat. Some even made cover versions of the sad song.

This got me asking myself some questions like why the huge attachment to sad songs despite our obsession for happiness? how many people are truly happy?

Funnily, I went through my music collection and realised I have more sad songs than happy songs. To worsen the matter, I found out that the sad songs were some of my favourite songs. I assure you I’m not a masochist nor a saddist so the result was surprising to me. I bet you if you go through yours, you may get the same result.

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Here is a list of 50 popular songs that are actually sad. You might find some of your favourite songs in it too.

1. Wiz Khalifa ft Charlie Puth – See You Again
2. Sia – Big Girls Cry
3. Adele – Hello
4. Adele – Someone Like You
5. Sam Smith – Lay Me Down
6. Sam Smith – Stay With Me
7. Sam Smith – Not The Only One
8. 2Face Idibia – True Love
9. Omarion – Ice Box
10. Nicki Minaj – Pills & Portions
11. Seether ft Amy Lee – Broken
12. Hinder – Lips of Angel
13. Ed Sheeran – Kiss Me
14. Drake – Find Your Love
15. Justin Timberlake – Lovestoned
16. Enrique Iglesias ft Sean Garrett – Away
17. Rascal Flatts – What Hurts The Most
18. Rascal Flatts – Here Comes Goodbye
19. The Script – BreakEven
20. Hoobastank – The Reason
21. Bon Jovi – Misunderstood
22. Coldplay – Fix You
23. Coldplay – The Scientist
24. One Republic – Say (All I Need)
25. Tom Odell – Another Love
26. One Republic – Apologise
27. James Blunt – You’re Beautiful
28. Rihanna ft Mikky Ekko – Stay
29. Pink – Just Like A Pill
30. Mario Winans ft. P.Diddy – I Don’t Wanna Know
31. Puff Daddy ft. Faith Evans/112 – I’ll Be Missing You
32. Bruno Mars – Grenade/If I Was Your Man
33. Mr Probs – Waves
34. Ruben Studdard – Sorry 2004
35. Trey Songz – Never Again
36. James Arthur – Recovery
37. Jennifer Paige – Stranded
38. Daniel Merriweather – Red
39. Gotye ft Kimbra – Somebody I Used To Know
40. Drake – Mavins Room
41. Drake – Hotline Bling (don’t let the video confuse you)
42. Snow Patrol or Leona Lewis – Run
43. Chris Brown – Say Goodbye
44. Chris Brown ft. Kendrick Lamar – Autumn Leaves
45. Nas ft. Quan – Just A Moment
46. Nelly Furtado – In God’s Hands
47. Nelly Furtado – All Good Things (Come To An End)
48. Ne-Yo – Do You
49. Chris Brown ft Tyga & Kevin McCall – Deuces
50. Creed – One Last Breath

Did you find any of your favourite songs on the list? If yes, surprising isn’t it? I have come to the conclusion that sad songs are unarguably the best songs. Initially, I had thought sad songs are there to help us deal with the emotional stress of a current heartbreak, death, rejection or other misfortunes in life however I come to realise that sad songs are also pleasurable.

Recent studies by German and Japanese researchers respectively showed that sad songs don’t necessarily make us sad. Rather they play a role in emotional regulation. Along with sadness, they also evoke nostalgia, tenderness, empathy, peacefulness, forgiveness and other pleasant emotions like bliss and awe. Also, they were found to be more likely than happy songs to arouse our pleasurable emotions.

Phew! Not all sadness is bad afterall; it can also contribute richly to our lives. However, one ought to be careful before his/her sadness deteriorates into depression.

I hope I have managed to put you in the mood for some sad music going into the weekend. What’s your go to sad song to make you feel better. Please share in the comment section.

Mental Health: A Need For Awareness

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Mental health problems are on meteoric rise across the globe. I read an interesting article which identified mental health disorders as the fifth leading cause of death and disease worldwide. Interestingly, Nigeria, along with China, North Korea and Japan were the four countries mentioned to have low burden of death and disease from mental disorders.

This could be due to the fact that the average Nigerian mind races to madness (psychosis) probably inflicted on a person by haters from his or her village, when mental health is mentioned. Many fail to realise that alcoholism, drug abuse, eating disorders, sleep issues, emotions such as anxiety and depression, levels of stress, self-harming and suicide are all linked to mental health.

As a result, very few Nigerians pay attention to their mental health. Judging with what is happening right now, one can predict that mental health issues of Nigerians, especially the youths will skyrocket in the next five to ten years. And this should be seen as a major public health concern.

Before you start critiquing this; I am yet to research on this so I have no raw data to back my claims hence this is just an opinion, observation or assertion.

Nigerian youths are faced with numerous problems in our country today. From joblessness (unemployment) through relationship/marriage problems to alcohol and drug abuse etc. And these can do serious damage to one’s mental health.

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First, parents put a lot of pressure on their kids to study and become a doctor, engineer or lawyer. Many may lack the abilities and capabilities required to reach the educational goals set by the parents and in the end, become stressed, anxious and depressed or may resort to drug abuse/alcoholism to take the pain away.

Then, if one scales through these hurdles and graduates, one enthusiastically applies for numerous jobs as many believe their job defines them and earns them respect. If unsuccessful after a long search, one may lose confidence and self-esteem.

Unemployment can take a huge toll on a fresh graduate’s pysche. The stages of unemployment are initial shock, depression and finally adjustment. Depression may cause them to isolate themselves from friends and family.

Next, the never-ending pressure on a young Nigerian lady, from family and society, to marry and have a family. Although many claim unfazed, being single may increase the risk of developing mental health problems in adulthood.

Nevertheless, ending a relationship/marriage through separation, divorce or death may also cause an increased risk of mental health disorders. Relationships are hard-work and often drains one’s emotional energy. People may be happier whilst married or in relationship but the effects on mental health once separated by death or divorce may be far worse than being single.

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It is never easy when a relationship/marriage ends. The breakup can trigger negative emotions, such as sadness, hate, disappointment and depression, which one may never recover from. The more break-ups one has, the more his/her mental health  progressively deteriorates.

Emergence of social media hasn’t helped either; it has increased comparison, cyber-bullying, restlessness, glamorization of sex, drugs and alcohol use and crowd mentality amongst the youths to appear cool. People put more pressure on themselves when they see achievements of others thereby elevating their stress levels, anxiety and depression. If they feel they are falling behind, they may make matters worse by turning to drugs or alcohol.

Mental health issues can prevent one from living his/her dream, starting a family or becoming useful to his nation. And this should be treated as a serious health scare. Mental health awareness should be made to safeguard emotional wellbeing of Nigerian youths.

Thank you for making out time to read this article. If you have enjoyed it, please comment and share your views on this issue. Also, do like, share and follow the blog.