Tag: Nigeria

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Football Induced Psychosis

Football is the most popular sport on planet earth. In Nigeria, football is worshipped and played by a lot of people including me.

Most people are ardent followers of the English Premier League & support teams like Manchester United (Red Devils), Arsenal (Gunners), Chelsea (Blues) & Liverpool (Reds). People roam the streets every weekend to have a glimpse of their team in action on TV. The speed at which premier league football is engulfing Nigerians and the world at large is alarming. You’d see people wearing belts, jerseys, watches, caps, boxers, pants etc just to represent their clubs. Na Chelsea fans do am pass sha. Okada & kabu-kabu drivers are not left out; they decorate their bikes & buses with stickers of their favourite clubs.

I can still recollect back then in 2001 when it was all about Arsenal & Man United, the EPL was less popular, hence there was no news of violence even when these two football heavyweights clashed but now, the story is quite the opposite.

Alas! After the UEFA Champions League final in Rome (May 2009) where Manchester United was trounced, outclassed, outplayed, annihilated, humiliated & taught the game of football by the Numero Uno club in the world at the moment, FC Barcelona, an angry fan in Port Harcourt , Nigeria drove his bus into a crowd of people leaving six people dead &two wounded in the process.

My questions remain “Is this rage worth it? Dem sabi u? Dem dey pay you? These players collect a specified amount of money at the end of every week, match bonus after every match & an extra bonus for taking part in a competition like the UEFA Champions League yet na we dey kill ourselves over nothing.

How do we cure ourselves of this madness abeg?

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Why (Just Curious)

Why does a poor man want what he can’t have?

Why isn’t there a cure for AIDS, cancer, diabetes et al?

Why do we always complain about those in power and yet we don’t come out to vote?

Why do “prayer warriors” directly or indirectly demand for money to pray for us?

Why can’t our President set his priorities right?

Why is Farouk Lawan still a free man?

Why do people pledge allegiance to those in power but flee & curse them when they relinquish power?

Why did the Anyene family board that Dana flight?

Why are we all afraid of the Boko Haram sect?

Why do people (especially girls) go gaga for expensive things?

Why do people (the elderly inclusive) lie because of money?

Why do people complain about those in power but when they get into the same office, they do worse than their predecessors?

Why can’t the Government pay workers well but loot money for their families and philandering acts?

Why was Dame Patience Jonathan appointed a permanent secretary in her state?

Why do men ‘kill’ themselves to make money just to please a woman?

Why do parents lie to their children about sex?

Why do we neglect the things of God?

Why do girls lie to each other?

Why do men love alcohol and women clothes & shoes?

Why do patients hate & fear nurses?

Why do we ‘hate’ people who don’t notice or talk to us?

Why do we ‘kill’ ourselves to belong?

Why are the lawyers paid more than the hospital workers in our country?

Why do doctors head Laboratory departments (in a hospital) in this country?

Why do patients get irritable?

Why is the nouveau riche always arrogant?

Why does a brother always lie about a sister that he can’t have?

Why do they say the beautiful ones are not yet born when they are everywhere?

Why do people easily forget the things you did for them and remember those you didn’t do?

Why do men lie & brag about the number of girls they’ve had?

Why do women lie about the number of men they’ve been with?

Why do we waste a lot of time writing out a list of New Year resolutions which we will never keep?

Why do we love social networking sites (facebook, twitter, tagged, flikster, yahoo, 2go, nairaland, morange, hi5, ebuddy, nimbuzz, badoo) so much?

Why do some of us need the approval of others before they can do anything?

Why do people expose all their secrets in bed?

Why do we expose our friends’ secrets to our lovers?

Why are Chelsea fans, touts; Arsenal fans, women and United fans, zealots?

Why don’t we ever tire of comparing Lionel Messi and Cristiano Ronaldo?

Why do people ‘hate’ you when you are successful?

Why do we rejoice when there’s a problem in another man’s relationship?

Why do people respect you when you don’t talk to them & take you for granted when you do?

Why can’t we have mad fun supporting our local teams?

Why does a guy/girl have to be the problem between two friends?

Why do we compare & want to be like Mr A when Mr A really wants to be like us?

Why are people so easily intimidated?

Why do we spend so much time facebooking, tweeting and reading a novel and less time reading the Bible?

Why do we get jaded when we spend only two hours worshipping God?

Why does music influence & affect us?

Why can’t a brother/sister tell you how big/low his/her pay check is?

Why do Pentecostal church goers dress & imitate their pastors?

Why do we only remember God when we are sick or heavy laden?

Why do most booze hounds smoke?

Why are you even alive?

Why are you forcing yourself to be hard?

Why do we take people for granted and try to take advantage of them when they are good to us?

Why do we call our lovers more than our families?

Why do we do things we can’t even do for our parents/siblings for our lovers?

Why do people look forward to the NYSC Orientation camp?

Why is the average Nigerian superstitious?

Why do our leaders rely solely on Oil as our export?

Why can’t we have a two-party system in Nigeria?

Why is Nigeria, a failed state?

 

 

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Corrupt State of Nigeria: We all have benefitted from it

Corruption, as we all know is the destruction, ruining and spoiling of a society or nation. Corruption is an age-old phenomenon. Selfishness and greed are the two main causes. 

A corrupt nation loses its value for integrity, virtue or moral principles. It changes for the worse. Such a society begins to decay and sets itself on the road to destruction.

Corruption has always been the bane of our country’s development and we have seen a steep of upward trend of existing corruption. Nigeria has been engulfed by corruption that we have reached the position of one of the top ten or so of the corrupt countries in the world.

How can we develop when even our parents (elderly) who ought to lead by example are corrupt? At a very tender age, parents inculcate this bad trait in their children. For instance, when I wrote my National Common Entrance exam, so many parents (family friends) bought me with gifts to help their kids with answers. I, being an innocent kid didn’t know I was already employed as a mercenary. Imagine a child having that kind of notion that you can bribe your way to success and that he doesn’t need to read to pass.

Corruption is rampant everywhere, this malady has spread through like the length and breadth of our social fabric metastatically like a malignant cancer.

Corrupt practices have eaten have into our lifestyles to such an extent that we don’t see anything wrong in what we do anymore and that things should be the way they are. We are inclined to justify all the wrongs. 

Corruption has gone viral in our society and we have reached a point of no return; it’s the beginning of the end.

These days we all are well informed of the malpractices that thrive nowadays and we have expressed revulsion, disgust and frowned at the way things are going in the country but I’ve always maintained, we all have gained and profited from corruption in one way or the other. After all, my Igbo people say “Na Obodo adigi mma bu uru ndi nze” meaning the crisis state of a society/nation is to the merit and benefit of the rich and mighty. If you say you have not benefitted from corruption, you are only playing the game of deceit with your head.

One way or the other, I don’t think there’s any man out there that will say he has been fair all his life and never broken any rule/law.

Let’s play a game of 21 questions; have you ever sorted to pass an exam? Have you ever asked someone to write attendance for you in school or at your workplace in your absence? Did you write your jamb in a special centre? Did you have to pay a concessional fee to get admission into secondary or tertiary institution? Have you ever rogered the police? Have you ever given bribe to wriggle your way out of a difficult situation? Have you ever been given preferential treatment in a bank or any other place? Have you ever bribed anybody to get a job even though you are the least qualified? Have you ever smoked weed? Did you drink before you were 21? Have you ever driven a car under the influence of alcohol? Have you ever indulged in child trafficking? Have you ever abused a child either physically or sexually? Did you have sex before you were 18? Have you ever slept with an underage girl or guy? Have you as a priest not stood your ground against corruption publicly? Have you ever killed a family member just to make money? Have you ever indulged in rituals for political reasons or because of mere jealousy? Have you even been part of a cyber crime? Have you ever embezzled public fund?  Have you ever kidnapped anybody or acted as an informant for kidnappers/robbers? Have you ever run a traffic red light before?

If you are guilty of any of these crimes, your guess is as good as mine, you are corrupt.

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NYSC And The Enclosure Syndrome

You could always feel people’s (intending corps members) excitement, joy and expectation whenever it’s that time of the year for the NYSC Orientation Camp. People are always impatiently anxious and ready to get on with the programme.

I must admit I’m not a fan of the programme. I see it as a charade. I mean the main aim of the scheme is to promote national unity among Nigerian youths, develop the rural areas and prepare the nouveau graduate for the challenges ahead.

Yes, it does promote national unity but I believe it has contributed to the growing unemployment problem we are facing. These institutions and organizations see corps members as cheap labour and prefer employing them every year and discard them at the end of their one year programme, to employing capable hands on a permanent basis.

Let me ask these questions: Are we only allowed to serve Nigeria for a year after which we can do whatever we like? How many times have you seen a child of a top government official or member of the ruling class sent on assignment to any of the rural areas?

Anyways, let’s leave that topic for another day and concentrate on the topic at hand.

The Enclosure Syndrome, according to Zinga’s theory, is a condition that develops when adults are enclosed or confined in a place, which makes them foster transient feelings for each other to the extent of believing they have found love.

The enclosure syndrome is synonymous with the NYSC Camp. Just a week or two after the opening of the camp, you’d see people holding hands, frolicking, kissing, cuddling and doing things that lovers do.

If you have served or still serving, you will testify that it is difficult or almost impossible for one not to develop false feelings for the opposite sex in a place like that.

The saying ‘nobody wants to be lonely’ greatly applies here. The quest for companionship, sex and love is very high under these conditions. That’s why year in, year out; you hear stories of people falling heads over heels for each other in camp only to separate immediately or few weeks after the closure of the camp.

This condition is transmittable and contagious just like the common cold/flu. The married women/men aren’t immune to this syndrome either; they catch up with the bug. 

As a matter of fact, a married lady was recently caught pants down with a fellow corps member and was sent packing, along with her fellow culprit after the NYSC officials had informed the husband about her misdemeanour.  

Have you ever been diagnosed with this malady? Or are you still suffering from this condition?

This syndrome is only treatable and curable by distance; out of sight is definitely out of mind.