The Ex Effect: Sex With My Ex

A fortnight ago, I ran into my Ex, Chinelo and her bestie, Nkeoma at the movies. I had gone to watch Total Recall, the new blockbuster starring the multi-talented Colin Farrell but I was told it was yet to hit the cinema so I had to settle for ‘Think like a Man’ for the umpteenth time, I never get tired of seeing that movie though.

Chinelo and I broke up almost two years ago because the fights were getting worse. When a woman is fed up in a relationship, you’d know. She starts bringing up old dirt and gets agitated at the slightest provocation so I used my sagacity and annulled the relationship amicably for both parties to be happy. Although we became friends, we hadn’t seen or talked to each other for 18months.

She looked like a bag of money: sassy, beautiful and enchanting. Chinelo has always been a nymphet; she is worth more than a second look. At a glance, I was bewildered by her pliant lips and curvaceous body. It brought to mind all the good times we had – the mind blowing sex, the incredible adventures and the crazy games we played.

We watched the movie together – though we talked throughout the length of the movie. At the end of the day, we exchanged numbers, twitter handles, BB pins and other relevant information and set up a date in the near future – that’s where all the temptation started!

We hooked up again last Friday, had a drink or two and went back to my place for some sexual eruptions. We couldn’t resist each other; to make it worse, the sex was better than before; it was as if we were never apart. After the first round, my iTunes randomly selected Lil Bit’s joint with Yung Joc and Jim Jones “Sex with my Ex” from my music library. A line in the song goes this way “…can’t believe I’m having sex with my ex” and post coital tristesse set in, we vowed never to do such again but after some minutes, we were at it again.

We wanted each other so bad but there was an obstacle – we had new relationships so in order to save our present relationships, we had to stay away from each other.

Often times, I hear people blabbering about their Ex and it makes me laugh all time. It’s a very common scene on twitter, people diss their Ex every 10minutes on that social network. Some of these people may have gone back to their Ex for sex, care or help at least once in the past but here they are, raking over coals and cursing them on twitter. Anyways, Nigerians are known for their hypocritical ways.

I keep asking myself why we repeatedly feel affection when we see our Ex. This iteration is still mystical to me. I don’t get it, if we still feel something for each other, why then did we separate in the first place? I must say it takes courage, self control and GOD for one to resist the sexual advances of an Ex.

There’s an old Chinese proverb that says: “Insanity is doing the same thing in the same way & expecting a different outcome.” Some often get bemused after these happenchance with their Ex and find themselves craving to go back to them. The fact remains just because you had awesome sex with him/her doesn’t mean when you leave your present partner, that things will be all cosy as you want/expect/dream. Returning to an old flame is like reading a book over and over again expecting a different twist in the end. Things will never be the same again.

Nobody Has It Easy

Sitting on a sofa in my living room and listening to John Legend’s song Everybody Knows, a line in the song hit me. He sang “…nobody has it easy, I still can’t believe, you found somebody new but I wish you the best, I guess…”

In deed, nobody has it easy. The day I watched a documentary on Michael Jackson and how he was declined a role in a movie, I couldn’t believe it. This is somebody the whole world knows, infact the only thing more popular than the man nicknamed Wacko Jacko is Coca-Cola yet he was rejected by a director who wasn’t even as popular as Steven Seagal; this left him distraught and depressed.

Celebrities do suffer heart breaks, loneliness, lack of privacy etc yet we model our lives after theirs believing they have it all easy. Well, they don’t!

A chat with a colleague yesterday left me non-plussed and infuriated; the dude dismissed the importance of family, citing he doesn’t care about children/heir and he would “kill” to be as affluent as Aliko Dangote or Mike Adenuga.

The truth is that we always believe what we don’t have is better than what we have. American rapper Marshall Mathers aka EMINEM said in his song BEAUTIFUL, “…walk a thousand miles in my shoes just to see what its like to me, I’ll be you – lets trade shoes, just to see what it’d be like. To feel your pain, you feel mine. Go inside each other’s minds, just to see what we’d find, look at shit through each other’s eyes…”

It would be nice if people didn’t look over the fence and think someone else has it easier than him or her…you never know what just goes on in other people’s lives. Just enjoy your life to the best of your ability.

Nobody has it easy, everybody has a problem. Everybody is fighting his or her own war. You don’t know what they are going through. Nobody is perfect, nobody deserves to be.

Happy new week, wish you all a productive week.

If I Could Turn Back The Hands of Time

 

My church, All Saints Church G.R.A Enugu, celebrated the harvest of children this past sunday.

As I watched the kids’ performance in awe, I fell into a trance, more of reverie per se. I couldn’t help but remember when I was like them; how I sang sweet melodies like Panam Percy Paul’s Bring Down Your Glory with my Macy Gray-like voice and how I dazzled the church congregation with a flawless recitation of the Gospel according to John Chapter 1, I flowed like a BOSS (Huhh).

Oh Yes! I was that incorrigible cool kid your parents wanted you to be like. 

Those were memorable and happy moments I will cherish till the day I go six feet under the ground.

Childhood is the most exciting stage of our lives. I’m pretty sure most of you would love to rewind the hands of time to when he/she was as innocent as a bird, when things were less complicated, no job stress, no relationship headache and no bill to pay.

However, not everybody shares this lovely tale. Some had a dark experience and would love to leave that part of their life history in the past. Some were raped, molested and abused as kids. Others weren’t lucky and lost a parent or two to the cold hands of death early in life.

If you had the power to turn back the hands of time, what would you change/correct in your life?