Gossip: We All Do That Shit

Gossip is so tasty – how we love to swallow it –Proverbs 18vs 8

Gossip is an ancient means of conveying and sharing facts, views and slur. It is described as the casual conversation or unseen reports about people; the idle rumour talk about private or personal affairs of others.

People have diverse views about gossip. Eleanor Roosevelt said “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people” while Mercedes Lackey said “It’s only gossip if you repeat it until then its gathering information.”

Some perceive it as a free-minded way of disseminating information while others see it as a sin (Biblically, it is placed on par with sexual immorality and murder), hurtful and character defamation. The truth is that we all gossip; one way or the other. We gossip in church, school, at work place, market, mall, social gatherings, home…in fact everywhere. Pretending that none of us is a gossip is a farce.

After all, nobody is perfect and everyone has a flaw to gossip about. For instance, you hear an interesting story/rumour and you find it very hard to digest it alone, so you tell Mr A, if only he swears not to disclose what you’ve told him. Iya! Before you say Jack Robinson, your story has spread round the school, church, work place, etc and the world in general (no thanks to the internet).

Nowadays, gossip sells like sex and it spreads like wild fire. The E! Channel is one TV Station, that is dedicated to gossips and fabulous life of the rich and famous and we are aware of their success. Most magazines and newspapers now have columns for gossip because it surely catches the attention of the readers.

I am of the school of thought that people who gossip ‘A LOT’ are those with low self esteem who desire to fit in at all cost. Some people, especially the ladies, can’t converse with you for 10minutes without gossiping.

Traditionally, women get a lot of criticism for gossiping or should I say gisting as they call it. A male who gossips is a girl’s best friend/companion.

A feminist definition of gossip presents it as “a way of talking between women, intimate in style, personal and domestic in scope and settling, a female cultural event which springs from and perpetuates the restrictions of the female role but also gives the comfort or validation.” (Jones, 1990)

Men and women gossip but there’s a huge gap in the way both sexes gossip. Men talk about cars, sports, alcohol, women, money, weed etc so it endears them to each other, while the female folk whimper and whisper about physical appearance and relationships.

The general rule for gossip is to mind your own business. You don’t want a nosy parker prying in your affairs, so you owe it to them to show them the same amount of respect.

This said, next time you come across some spicy and tasty news, you can use your “fork ear” to sieve the ones you want to assimilate or you can use your “spoon ear” and swallow the news with all the impurities but remember shut your buccal cavity and observe how proceedings unwrap.

Marriage…scary

I was opportune to grace my friend’s parents’ Silver Jubilee (25th Wedding Anniversary) in Abuja last month. The parents met during their National Youth Service Corps (NYSC) programme, they both served in Jigawa State in the 80s and also got married in the 80s at Holy Ghost Cathedral Church Enugu.

During the mass, the presiding priest asked the couple to exchange/renew their vows; the man expressed his undying love for his wife, thanking her for accepting his marriage proposal, carrying and bringing their children to the world, assisting and standing by him through the ups and downs of life.

At the end of his speech, the woman was short of words and whimpered like a baby. It was evident that something like LOVE still exists; it’s always cute to see old couples holding hands and looking at each other like teenagers who just fell in love.

Sitting with some friends during the reception, we started arguing if such still exist in this our generation. They all concurred that marriage is something they all dread and aren’t ready to ply that road anytime soon.

I comprehend their fears completely; the urge for material things has changed the story of love thus most ladies can’t function if there’s no cash involved. Money shouldn’t be the priority when choosing a partner. There’s more to marriage than money alone.

Marriage is a broad course, nobody has ever got an A in it but that doesn’t mean you should have an F. Marriage isn’t about the wedding either but it’s about everything that happens after the wedding. It is a 3-ring affair: Engagement ring, Wedding ring and Suffering. Yes, you read that right. Paul said in 1st Corinthians Chapter 7 v 28: “But if you do marry, you have not sinned; and if a virgin marries, she has not sinned. But those who marry will face troubles in this life…”

People say marriage is an achievement but I disagree; raising a family is the achievement and not marriage itself. There are so many factors put into consideration before a man/woman decides to spend the rest of his/her life with the partner. These vital factors include: love, compatibility, understanding, tolerance and sustainable means of livelihood for the family.

Most women say they want security in life so they won’t date the poor but what they fail to understand is that a poor man with a good heart is better than a rich man with the heart of a beast. If that dude isn’t rich today doesn’t mean he will be poor forever. My Igbo people say “UWA NA EME NTUGHARI” meaning the world revolves and nothing is permanent. Getting married to the rich doesn’t guarantee happiness in life. Happiness is priceless perhaps those who say they will rather cry inside a Mercedes Maybach than laugh on a bicycle have never experienced pain in their lives. Don’t misconstrue my point; I’m not in support of a man dragging someone’s daughter to suffer with him…NO. The man must have a sustainable means of livelihood for the family and also the woman should work and aid the husband because she was created by GOD to be a help mate to the man, helping him to be the best in all ramifications. The purpose of working and earning is for the woman to appreciate what the husband gives her.

A couple has to be compatible and understand each other for the marriage to work; they must share the same ambitions and aspirations. Due to the fact that we all have flaws, tolerance is vital. In my opinion, the union between an uneducated man and educated lady will ‘NEVER’ work because men are naturally egotistical and he will feel insecure in the long run.

In the end, work hard and pray hard for GOD to make you successful and take you to the apex of your aspirations and also to provide a good partner in life for you. What qualifies you as a great partner isn’t in your looks/appearance but it’s in your good heart, good character and real personality. When a real man finds a real woman, he will never let her go. It’s funny how material women blame men for breaking their hearts. Real men/women don’t settle down with fake women/men. The only place you can find a fake woman is temporarily in the heart of a foolish man but when the fool becomes wise, the wise person is in serious problems. Looking for a real man/woman when you are a sham is like looking for a live fish in the forest.