Tag: Bible

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PhD Chronicles: Part V

One of my best authors is Robert Greene. His debut book, The 48 Laws of Power, published in 1998, was described as ‘the psychopaths Bible’. Although these laws seem somewhat evil and narcissistic tools to manipulate others, however, if you actually take a critical look at these laws you would notice that some of them are things we do, consciously and unconsciously, on a daily basis.

Here are some of the laws in the Book:

Law 3: Conceal your intentions

Law 4: Always say less than necessary

Law 5: So much depends on your reputation; guard it with your life

Law 9: Win through actions; never through arguments

Law 10: Avoid the unhappy or unlucky

Law 12: Use selective honesty or generosity to disarm your ‘victim’

Law 16: Use absence to increase strength and honour

Law 17: Cultivate an air of unpredictability

Law 34: Be royal in your own fashion

Law 36: Disdain anything you can’t have; ignoring them is the best revenge

Law 40: Despise the free lunch

Take a look at the aforementioned laws. Have you ever practised or still practise any of the laws on the list? If I am to guess, I would say that the most likely answer is YES. This is because power is a natural phenomenon. Every human yearns for power and influence knowingly and unknowingly. Whether one accepts it or not is an entirely different story altogether.

Many believe that power corrupts but I beg to differ. I sincerely believe that power is liberating and allows you to freely express your authentic self that you may have been hiding for any reason. Unfortunately, power does not always result in positive circumstance. For so many people, their authentic self is tainted with an insatiable thirst to control, manipulate, abuse or get back at others.

Sirach 30:10-11 Has anyone ever known that he could get away with cheating someone, and not taken advantage of it. If so, he deserves his wealth, and everyone will praise him for his generosity.

This is why there’s a general misconception that power holders are inconsiderate dimwits who do not care about others but that isn’t true. And I say it all depends on the individual that yields the power.

I have previously written about my struggles with the impostor syndrome during the early stages of this journey. At the time, I felt powerless and as a consequence, most of the people I resorted to for help looked down on me. And I sincerely understand. Power and powerlessness affect our perception of others.

Power is a great mechanism in changing of behaviour. Power comes along with confidence, assertiveness, courage, quick decision making and increased hormonal levels (high testosterone level and low cortisol (stress hormone) level). However, being powerless makes you second-guess yourself, seek external validation from others and instils fear that stops you from going after what you really want and need.

The fact that power can bring about a change in one’s behaviour is the reason why I encourage everyone to seek power via knowledge for knowledge is power. You don’t have to be a bookworm but you MUST love knowledge in order to acquire it. And the simplest way to do this is by mere observation of things and people around you, and experimentation as Alex Ferguson said in his book, Leading, “there’s a reason God gave us two ears, two eyes and one mouth.”

Ecclesiastes 9:16 Wisdom is better than strength. But the poor man’s wisdom is despised, and his words are no longer heeded.

Ignorance and curiosity drive scientific research but the at the end of the day, we acquire knowledge that can transform the world. However, how this knowledge is framed to the public is important. If it is presented in a negative, aggressive or condescending manner, knowledge loses its power. As a result, scientists have to allow the public to mirror scientific information against their personal beliefs by showing them how science belongs to them and how they belong to science. That way knowledge becomes powerful and can be worth its weight in gold.

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Opinions and Attention

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Naturally, I am not attracted to groups so I try not to join any but life has presented me with different reasons, at different stages and on different occasions, to do so. Right from an early age, I had to join the Bible, quiz and football clubs to hone my academic and soccer abilities. This continued as I grew older and I proceeded to join a research team as a post-graduate student.

There are several reasons why one may benefit from group inclusion. Just like me, many join groups for purposes of social, spiritual, educational and political change. These groups afford us the chance to meet up and have different interactions with others.

However, there is something about groups I abhor. Groups tend to promote crowd mentality amongst their members. And this doesn’t align with my belief. I believe one has the right to think freely on his/her own. According to Mark Twain, “Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority. It is time to pause and reflect.”

Groups often infiltrate the minds of their members thereby making them see themselves in a positive way and others (opponents & people dissimilar to them) in a negative way. For example, back in secondary school, it was deemed wrong/degrading for members of certain groups to relate with members of other groups. As a consequence, social distance is created.

Social distance is based on the concepts of race, ethnicity, class and status. It reflects the degree to which people are willing to accept or reject social intercourse with others with different social characteristics.

Social distance succinctly explains why we disregard the opinions of those we feel are below us e.g our gatemen etc because their ideas and dreams seem bare and ordinary to us. So we only bother ourselves with opinions of those we feel are above us or on the same level with us.

In every organisation or institution, low-rank individuals often pay attention to the affairs of high-rank individuals. This explains why rich people pay little attention to those below them. Daniel Goleman in his article “Rich People Just Care Less” published in the New York Times, wrote “The more powerful pay less attention to us than we do to them, in other situations we are relatively higher on the totem pole of status — and we, too, tend to pay less attention to those a rung or two down.”

Think about this: when a rich/successful (wo)man says something, whether it sounds smart or stupid, people are awed. In contrast, many might turn a blind eye to a well-thought analysis offered by a poor wise man. No wonder King Solomon, who many believe to be the wisest man that ever lived, said in Ecclesiastes 9 vs 16, “Wisdom is better than strength, those who are wise will be despised if they are poor. What they say will not be appreciated for long.”

In this information age, your long-term success depends on winning the attention of others. According to Steve Rubel of Edelman, “Attention is the most important currency that anybody can give you. It’s worth more than money, possessions or things.” It’s not easy to gain people’s attention. It requires hard work, determination and time.

Nobody pays attention to someone who shares a common opinion (only famous people are an exception to this). We rather turn our attention to people who we deem threats, superior or have uncommon opinions.

Therefore, to leave your mark and make a difference, you have to focus your attention inward and be bold enough to challenge the status quo. Only then will people pay attention to you.

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Finding Balance Fun and Focus

Ecclesiates 3:1 – To all things there is an appointed time, and a time to every purpose under the heaven.

Striking a balance between fun and focus can be a herculean task. Sometimes we prioritize work/school and focus solely on results/grades/achievements, forgetting the real world out there for us to explore and have fun. On the contrary, some give little attention to school/work because they believe their social life trumps every aspect of their lives.

Problems arise when one neglects other important areas of his/her life. You may lose friends and family if you preoccupy yourself with school/work but may also be taken less seriously if you largely focus on fun. These areas, if not balanced, will negatively influence your success and happiness. Balance between focus and fun is key to a happy successful life.

At a very young age, I was made to understand that a child educated only at school is an uneducated child. The advice I received still echo in my head – “As you pass through the school; try and allow the school to pass through you.”

Fun, including personal relationships, is essential to one’s general health, wellbeing and optimal functioning. The health of your focus/fun balance depends on the quality of your relationships.

If you have been opportune to be part of a Sports team, you’d notice every coach sets aside days for his team to socialise and bond together. In Ecclesiastes 9:7, King Solomon implored Christians to have a little fun, “Go, eat your food with gladness, and drink your wine with a joyful heart, for God has already approved what you do.” Teachers also advice their students to take some time off and have fun to refresh their minds, lower their stress levels and renew their focus.

Emotions have a huge effect on an individual’s health – whether physical, mental or social health. Emotional wellbeing can affect your academic, professional and personal success.

It is important to set goals and be passionate about them but we need to balance all kinds of things in our lives. Before you can be the real you, you ought to have a balanced life. Finding a balance in everything that you do allows you to live a balanced life and enjoy the best of both worlds.

Thank you for making out time to read this article. If you have enjoyed it, please comment and share your views on this issue. Also, do like, share and follow the blog.

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The Church: Back To The Matter

My friend invited me to his church’s Carol of 9 lessons last Christmas. Although the 9readings bore me, I enjoyed all the Christmas melodies the choir sang.

One thing piqued my interest during the service, one of the readers, the 8th in particular -a rich woman, after reading the verses from her Bible on a lectern, announced to the congregation.

“From my own purse, I donate the sum of N100,000 to the choir” She said.

And there was delirium in the church. I was perplexed and immediately asked my friend, “why are people rejoicing?”

This isn’t a new scene in church nowadays. The church has lost her way, people go to churches these days to show off their affluence and opulence. What happened to giving in secret? It is written in the Bible, if you give to God for people to praise you, don’t expect any gift from God because you have been praised and exalted on earth.

The fact that pastors and Bishops allow this act to go on in the church baffles me. I mean, they have great knowledge of the WORD and know it is wrong in all ramifications.

The church is the only place where the poor and the rich are supposed to be equal even if it is for 30minutes but the case is different nowadays, pastors recognise the presence of “top shots” during mass. What is that?????

Pastors are supposed to be the voice of people and the bridge between the Government and the people but now they lick the asses of those in power in order to get a substantial donation from them. They can’t even stand on the pulpit and tell them their sins to their faces anymore rather when they climb up there, they lie and brain-wash their congregation with “prosperity messages”.

Some pastors own private jets, off from the donations and offerings of their poor congregation and they claim the jets are for evangelical work. I pray oh!!!!

In the past, the church clothed, fed and trained children from poor backgrounds in schools. Today, there are so many religious affiliated secondary and tertiary schools which the poor ones/members can’t even afford to send their kids to.

The church has become a money-making venture. We have more motivational speakers than pastors these days. All you need to be is a good orator(good command of the lingua franca/good with words) and have an in-depth knowledge of the Bible and you are ready to start off your own ministry.

The other day, I met a man of God and he said to me..”God told me to tell you, you are destined for greatness but people are after you. I’m going to pray for you and after that, ‘anything’ you feel is good, you donate to my ministry.” Emphasis on anything. A lot of pastors go around scamming people all in the name of God.

Our insatiable thirst for miracles has made us easy preys for these ‘predators’. Some christians go from church to church in search of miracles, signs and wonders.

During sermon, some pastors will tell you how they prayed for one sister/brother and his/her life turned around for good and I often ask, isn’t that blowing your own horn? Is it necessary?

As we celebrate this easter period, let’s have a sober reflection of what Jesus Christ did for us on the cross of Calvary, how he suffered death and was buried so that we may have life.

Christ is the reason for the season,let us celebrate his death and resurrection and most importantly, live a Christ-like life.

May God help us all. Amen.

Happy Easter good people of God

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Gossip: We All Do That Shit

Gossip is so tasty – how we love to swallow it –Proverbs 18vs 8

Gossip is an ancient means of conveying and sharing facts, views and slur. It is described as the casual conversation or unseen reports about people; the idle rumour talk about private or personal affairs of others.

People have diverse views about gossip. Eleanor Roosevelt said “Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people” while Mercedes Lackey said “It’s only gossip if you repeat it until then its gathering information.”

Some perceive it as a free-minded way of disseminating information while others see it as a sin (Biblically, it is placed on par with sexual immorality and murder), hurtful and character defamation. The truth is that we all gossip; one way or the other. We gossip in church, school, at work place, market, mall, social gatherings, home…in fact everywhere. Pretending that none of us is a gossip is a farce.

After all, nobody is perfect and everyone has a flaw to gossip about. For instance, you hear an interesting story/rumour and you find it very hard to digest it alone, so you tell Mr A, if only he swears not to disclose what you’ve told him. Iya! Before you say Jack Robinson, your story has spread round the school, church, work place, etc and the world in general (no thanks to the internet).

Nowadays, gossip sells like sex and it spreads like wild fire. The E! Channel is one TV Station, that is dedicated to gossips and fabulous life of the rich and famous and we are aware of their success. Most magazines and newspapers now have columns for gossip because it surely catches the attention of the readers.

I am of the school of thought that people who gossip ‘A LOT’ are those with low self esteem who desire to fit in at all cost. Some people, especially the ladies, can’t converse with you for 10minutes without gossiping.

Traditionally, women get a lot of criticism for gossiping or should I say gisting as they call it. A male who gossips is a girl’s best friend/companion.

A feminist definition of gossip presents it as “a way of talking between women, intimate in style, personal and domestic in scope and settling, a female cultural event which springs from and perpetuates the restrictions of the female role but also gives the comfort or validation.” (Jones, 1990)

Men and women gossip but there’s a huge gap in the way both sexes gossip. Men talk about cars, sports, alcohol, women, money, weed etc so it endears them to each other, while the female folk whimper and whisper about physical appearance and relationships.

The general rule for gossip is to mind your own business. You don’t want a nosy parker prying in your affairs, so you owe it to them to show them the same amount of respect.

This said, next time you come across some spicy and tasty news, you can use your “fork ear” to sieve the ones you want to assimilate or you can use your “spoon ear” and swallow the news with all the impurities but remember shut your buccal cavity and observe how proceedings unwrap.