Don’t Mock Me, Teach Me

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“Whoever loves discipline loves knowledge, but he who hates reproof is stupid” – Proverbs 12:1

How often have you heard people say, I can’t marry a woman that doesn’t know how to cook? Or I can’t be with someone that doesn’t know the difference between your and you’re (grammatical errors)? I reckon that these have led to the demise of many promising relationships.

First and foremost, I love food. Ah! Food is life. In Nigeria, there is a common saying that “the best way to a man’s heart is through his stomach” so I do believe a woman ought to possess great culinary skills.

However, as I grow older (and wiser I hope), I have come to accept that not every woman produces magic in the kitchen and not everybody is grammar-savvy. Nobody knows it all and we all have flaws; even the shortcomings of the genuises among us may come easily to those with the lowest of IQs.

As a consequence, I have come to realise that everybody has something to teach you and what really matters is being teachable. So the most important question ought to be is she willing to learn how to cook? Is s/he eager to know the difference between your and you’re?

Teachability is not something you can force on anyone; it is a choice. We choose whether to react positively or negatively to other people’s views and ideas. Jazz trumpeter Louis Armstrong once said, “There are some people that if they don’t know, you can’t teach them.”

Naturally, we abhor criticism and negative feedback. No one likes to be criticised so we tend to develop strong resistance and reluctance to it.

This problem is often exacerbated if one possesses any of the six things that can make people arrogant: power, fame, intelligence, affluence, talent and beauty. No matter how powerful, famous, intelligent, affluent, talented and/or beautiful we are, if we are unteachable, it will be hard or almost impossible for us to reach our full potential in our endeavours, careers or relationships.

Hence, being teachable is crucial in self-development and self-education; it is the most important skill in life. Teachability is linked to having an unquenchable thirst and deep appreciation for knowledge.

Your immediate contacts, friends and family are always willing to share their information/knowledge if you are willing to learn from them. Every coach/manager from all walks of life loves anybody that is teachable. They are often happy and eager to help anyone who is not conceited to ask questions.

So go ahead and ask questions for everyday is an opportunity to learn something new. And if someone doesn’t know what you know, try correcting/teaching them before mocking them.

My Child Must Be A…

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Growing up as a Nigerian child can be mentally hard. Pardon me for generalising; Yes! I know Nigeria is enormous with over 250 ethnic groups and I cannot speak for everyone but I have found out that Nigerian children, no matter where they grow up, are raised in similar ways.

I was in South London sometime ago and a Nigerian woman complained bitterly about the academic capabilities of her 6-year old daughter (Yes! You read that right). She feels the daughter isn’t as smart as her peers and this makes her worry. She had already planned that the little girl would be a doctor in future and as a result, she hired a private tutor to teach the child after school hours which means the little girl arrives home at about 5pm every weekday.

Many Nigerian parents, just like the aforementioned lady, put pressure on their children, especially the oldest child, to do well in academics. Infact, they have unrealistic expectations that you must be the best at everything; it is not debatable. Even if you get an A and finish as the second best student, they will probably still ask, “The person that came first, does he/she have three heads?” Thereby making their children too result-oriented.

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It is absolutely of great importance that parents support their kids’ academic pursuit but there is growing concern that Nigerian parents put too much pressure on their kids beyond their capabilities and abilities. Whilst some parents want their kids to study 24 hours of the day (TDB) with minimal or no play time, in hope they will grow to become the next Albert Einstein, others favour and praise the academically sound ones over the poorly academic ones.

Putting children under intense pressure can be devastating to their psychological development. Consequently, they develop a certain type of mentality that makes them believe they are worthless without academic success thus cultivating sibling rivalry.

Some children may also develop perfectionistic traits as they put too much pressure on themselves to please their parents and other family members. In my little experience so far, many believe they are only studying for their parents, not for themselves, but are afraid to voice their opinions. Many struggle to establish autonomy and often succumb to depression, sickness, alcohol and drug abuse, psychosis, emotional trauma, low self-esteem and lack of self-confidence.

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Parenting is hard work; it must be said that parents who put too much pressure on their children never do it with the intention to harm them. Naturally, everyone expects a profitable return on the investments they make and parents are no different. They want to see a return on the investment of money/time that goes into raising their children (school fees are not easy to come by).

There is absolutely nothing wrong with setting high targets for your children however when these expectations seem to overhelm them, there is need for us to re-evaluate and soft pedal a little bit. Nigerian parents need to realise that every child is different; some are early developers whilst others are late developers. Also, not all children will be academically sound and the best you can do is to encourage them to be better whilst exploring other talents/skills your kids possess.

Some parents do this because they want their children to achieve more than they did. Recently, psychology experts revealed that parents who put extreme pressure on their children are only trying to live/achieve their failed dreams through their children. This gives them great fulfillment and pride, as some see it as a “straightforward validation of their parenting skills.” Professor Brad Bushman of Ohio State Univerisity, who coauthored the research said, “Parents then may bask in the reflected glory of their children, and lose some of the feelings of regret and disappointment that they couldn’t achieve these same goals.”

Furthermore, the emergence of social media (Facebook, BBM, Twitter, Whatsapp, Instagram etc) have unintentionally heaped pressure on many to achieve and some extend this pressure to their children. We are always notified about the events in everyone’s lives – especially their achievements so there’s increased pressure on kids to excel academically so parents can secretly boast that they have the best children ever.

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A child should be allowed to follow his/her own path in life, not the path of his or her parents. All he/she needs is parental guidance and support!

Thank you for making out time to read this article. If you have enjoyed it, please comment and share your views on this issue. Also, do like, share and follow the blog.

9 TYPES OF INTELLIGENCE (By Howard Gardner)

 

1. Naturalist Intelligence (“Nature Smart”)
 
Designates the human ability to discriminate among living things (plants, animals) as well as sensitivity to other features of the natural world (clouds, rock configurations).  This ability was clearly of value in our evolutionary past as hunters, gatherers, and farmers; it continues to be central in such roles as botanist or chef.  It is also speculated that much of our consumer society exploits the naturalist intelligences, which can be mobilized in the discrimination among cars, sneakers, kinds of makeup, and the like. 
 
2. Musical Intelligence (“Musical Smart”)
 

Musical intelligence is the capacity to discern pitch, rhythm, timbre, and tone.  This intelligence enables us to recognize, create, reproduce, and reflect on music, as demonstrated by composers, conductors, musicians, vocalist, and sensitive listeners.  Interestingly, there is often an affective connection between music and the emotions; and mathematical and musical intelligences may share common thinking processes.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence are usually singing or drumming to themselves.  They are usually quite aware of sounds others may miss.
 
 
3. Logical-Mathematical Intelligence (Number/Reasoning Smart)

 
Logical-mathematical intelligence is the ability to calculate, quantify, consider propositions and hypotheses, and carry out complete mathematical operations.  It enables us to perceive relationships and connections and to use abstract, symbolic thought; sequential reasoning skills; and inductive and deductive thinking patterns.  Logical intelligence is usually well developed in mathematicians, scientists, and detectives.  Young adults with lots of logical intelligence are interested in patterns, categories, and relationships.  They are drawn to arithmetic problems, strategy games and experiments.
 
4. Existential Intelligence
 

Sensitivity and capacity to tackle deep questions about human existence, such as the meaning of life, why do we die, and how did we get here.
 
5. Interpersonal Intelligence (People Smart”)
 

Interpersonal intelligence is the ability to understand and interact effectively with others.  It involves effective verbal and nonverbal communication, the ability to note distinctions among others, sensitivity to the moods and temperaments of others, and the ability to entertain multiple perspectives.  Teachers, social workers, actors, and politicians all exhibit interpersonal intelligence.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence are leaders among their peers, are good at communicating, and seem to understand others’ feelings and motives.
 
6. Bodily-Kinesthetic Intelligence (“Body Smart”)
 

Bodily kinesthetic intelligence is the capacity to manipulate objects and use a variety of physical skills.  This intelligence also involves a sense of timing and the perfection of skills through mind–body union.  Athletes, dancers, surgeons, and craftspeople exhibit well-developed bodily kinesthetic intelligence.
 
7. Linguistic Intelligence (Word Smart)
 

Linguistic intelligence is the ability to think in words and to use language to express and appreciate complex meanings.  Linguistic intelligence allows us to understand the order and meaning of words and to apply meta-linguistic skills to reflect on our use of language.  Linguistic intelligence is the most widely shared human competence and is evident in poets, novelists, journalists, and effective public speakers.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence enjoy writing, reading, telling stories or doing crossword puzzles.
 
8. Intra-personal Intelligence (Self Smart”)
 

Intra-personal intelligence is the capacity to understand oneself and one’s thoughts and feelings, and to use such knowledge in planning and directioning one’s life.  Intra-personal intelligence involves not only an appreciation of the self, but also of the human condition.  It is evident in psychologist, spiritual leaders, and philosophers.  These young adults may be shy.  They are very aware of their own feelings and are self-motivated.
 
9. Spatial Intelligence (“Picture Smart”)
 

Spatial intelligence is the ability to think in three dimensions.  Core capacities include mental imagery, spatial reasoning, image manipulation, graphic and artistic skills, and an active imagination.  Sailors, pilots, sculptors, painters, and architects all exhibit spatial intelligence.  Young adults with this kind of intelligence may be fascinated with mazes or jigsaw puzzles, or spend free time drawing or daydreaming.

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

Obsessive-compulsive disorder is an anxiety disorder that affects children and adolescents as well as adults in which people have unwanted and repeated thoughts, feelings, ideas, sensations (obsessions), or behaviours that make them feel driven to do something (compulsion).

These intrusive thoughts often produce uneasiness, apprehension, fear or worry; by repetitive behaviours aimed at reducing the associated anxiety; or by a combination of such obsessions and compulsions.

Often the person carries out the behaviours to get rid of the obsessive thoughts, but this only provides temporary relief. Not performing the obsessive rituals can cause great anxiety.

Obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD) is more common than was once thought. It affects both the young and the old – children, adolescents and adults.

There are several theories about the cause(s) of OCD, but none have been confirmed. Some reports have linked OCD to head injury and infections. Several studies have shown that there are brain abnormalities in patients with OCD. OCD has also been linked to above average intelligence because its sufferers often give high attention to detail, avoid risk, plan carefully, take time in making decisions and have a exaggerated sense of responsibility.

OCD has also been linked to Tourette syndrome due to the fact that about 20% of OCD patients have tics, however, this link is yet to be confirmed.

Obsessions and compulsions that are not due to medical illness or drug use, that cause major distress or interfere with everyday life have been pencilled down as the symptoms of OCD.

Some of these obsessions/compulsions include checking and rechecking actions (such as turning out the lights and locking the door), excessive counting, excessive fear of germs,the compulsion to repeatedly wash the hands to ward off infection.

Other symptoms of OCD include extreme hoarding; preoccupation with sexual, violent or religious thoughts; relationship-related obsessions; aversion to particular numbers; and nervous rituals, such as opening and closing a door a certain number of times before entering or leaving a room.

These symptoms can be alienating and time-consuming, and often cause severe emotional and financial distress.

The person usually recognizes that the behaviour is excessive or unreasonable and may become further distressed by this realization.

Your own description of the behaviour can help diagnose the disorder. A physical exam can rule out physical causes, and a psychiatric evaluation can rule out other mental disorders.

Questionnaires, such as the Yale-Brown Obsessive Compulsive Scale (YBOCS), can help diagnose OCD and track the progress of treatment.

OCD is treated using medications and therapy. The first medication usually considered is a type of anti-depressant called a selective serotonin reuptake inhibitor (SSRI). These drugs include: Citalopram (Celexa), Fluoxetine (Prozac), Fluvoxamine (Luvox), Paroxetine (Paxil), Sertraline (Zoloft)

If an SSRI does not work, the doctor may prescribe an older type of antidepressant called a tricyclic antidepressant. Clomipramine is a TCA, and is the oldest medication for OCD. It usually works better than SSRI antidepressants in treating the condition, but it can have unpleasant side effects, such as difficulty starting urination, drop in blood pressure when rising from a seated position, dry mouth, sleepiness.

In some cases, an SSRI and clomipramine may be combined. Other medications, such as low-dose atypical antipsychotics (including risperidone, quetiapine, olanzapine, or ziprasidone) have been shown to be helpful. Benzodiazepines may offer some relief from anxiety, but they are generally used only with the more reliable treatments.

Cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT) has been shown to be the most effective type of psychotherapy for this disorder. The patient is exposed many times to a situation that triggers the obsessive thoughts, and learns gradually to tolerate the anxiety and resist the urge to perform the compulsion. Medication and CBT together are considered to be better than either treatment alone at reducing symptoms.

Psychotherapy can also be used to provide effective ways of reducing stress, reduce anxiety, resolve inner conflicts.

OCD is a long-term (chronic) illness with periods of severe symptoms followed by times of improvement. However, a completely symptom-free period is unusual. Most people improve with treatment.

Long-term complications of OCD have to do with the type of obsessions or compulsions. For example, constant handwashing can cause skin breakdown. However, OCD does not usually progress into another disease.

There is no known prevention for this disorder.

AMAZING FACTS ABOUT THE NUMBER 9

1. If you multiply nine by any whole number (except zero), and repeatedly add the digits of the answer until it’s just one digit, you will end up with nine:
2 × 9 = 18 (1 + 8 = 9)
3 × 9 = 27 (2 + 7 = 9)
9 × 9 = 81 (8 + 1 = 9)
121 × 9 = 1089 (1 + 0 + 8 + 9 = 18; 1 + 8 = 9)
234 × 9 = 2106 (2 + 1 + 0 + 6 = 9)
578329 × 9 = 5204961 (5 + 2 + 0+ 4 + 9 + 6 + 1 = 27 (2 + 7 = 9))
482729235601 × 9 = 4344563120409 (4 + 3 + 4 + 4 + 5 + 6 + 3 + 1 + 2 + 0 + 4 + 0 + 9 =45 (4 + 5 = 9))
(Exception) 0 x 9 = 0 (0 is not equal to 9)

2. Only about one ninth of the mass of an iceberg is visible above the water. Nearly all its bulkremains hidden beneath the surface.

3. On cloud nine means happy, euphoric or `high’. The phrase came into use in the 1950s from a term used by the US Weather Bureau. For the meteorologists Cloud Nine is cumulo-nimbus cloud at a height of 10 km, which is high even by the standard of clouds.

4. The 9 of diamonds – the playingcard – is sometimes called the Curse of Scotland

5. The expression to the nines means to the highest degree. Someone dressed “to the nines” isdressed up as much as they can be.

6. The sum of the digits of the number added to 9 is always equal to the sum of the digits of the result. Take any four digit number and try the trick. Ex: 9 + 17 = 26. 1 + 7 = 8 & 2 + 6 = 8

7. In French the word neuf means both nine and new. In German, the words for nine and new are neun and neu, and in Spanish, nueve and nuevo. As you count and reach nine, you know you are about to make a new start.

8. Nine judges sit on the United States Supreme Court.

9. Nine Eleven is the day of the attacks on the World Trade Center,New York, USA.

10. Nine months is the average number of months per school year that most primary and secondary students are required to attend.

11. A human pregnancy ordinarily lasts for nine months.

12. There are nine members of the Fellowship of the Ring in The Lord of the Rings saga, to balanceand combat the nine Nazgûl, or Ringwraiths.

13. Important Buddhist rituals usually involve nine monks.

14. A batting lineup in baseball consists of nine players. In addition, 9 represents the number of innings in a game.

15. A standard work day of 9 to 5 begins at 9 a.m.

16. It is easy to work out whether a number is exactly divisible by 9. This is the same as asking whether a number is in the “9 times table”. All you have to do is add up its digits. If the answer is more than one digit long, you addup the digits again, and go on doing this, until you are left with asingle digit. If this single digit is 9 then the original number was divisible by 9.
For example, is 781236 divisible by 9? Adding up its digits 7 + 8 + 1 + 2 + 3 + 6 = 27
– and adding again 2 + 7 = 9. And because the answer is 9, the original number must be divisible by 9.

17. The formula for determining the sum of interior angles of a polygon is n-2(180). n= number of sides. The sum of all angles of any polygon will always equal 9. A9-sided polygon is 9-2(180) or 7(180) or 1260. 1+2+6+0 = 9. Try it with any sided polygon.

18. Any random number (e.g 35967930) when arranged with its integers in a descending order(i.e. 99765330) and subtracted from it the reverse number with rearranged integers in an ascending order ( i.e 03356799) the resulting subtraction (i.e. 96408531) individual integers when added (i.e 36) leads to a multiple of number 9.

Examples:
2- Digit Numbers: 10-01 = 9 (9X1); 21-12 = 9; 32-23 = 9; 43-34 = 9; 54-45 = 9; 65-56 = 9; 76-67 = 9; 87-78 = 9; 98-89 = 9;

3-Digit Numbers: 210-012 = 198 (1+9+8 = 18 = 9X2; 321-123 = 198; 432-234 = 198; 543-345 = 198; 654-456 = 198; 765-567 = 198; 876-678 = 198; 987-789 = 198;

4-Digit Numbers: 3210-0123 = 3087 (3+0+8+7 = 18 = 9X2); 4321-1234 = 3087; 5432-2345 = 3087; 6543-3456 = 3087; 7654-4567 = 3087; 8765-5678 = 3087; 9876-6789 = 3087;

5-digit Numbers: 43210-01234 = 41976 (4+1+9+7+6 = 27 = 9X3); 54321-12345 = 41976; 65432-23456 = 41976; 76543-34567 = 41976; 87654-45678 = 41976; 98765-56789 = 41976;

6- digit numbers: 543210 – 012345 = 530865 (5+3+0+8+6+5= 27 = 9X3; 654321 – 123456 = 530865 = 27; 765432 – 234567 =530865 = 27; 876543 – 345678 =530865 = 27; 987654 – 456789 =530865 = 27;

7- digit numbers: 6543210 – 0123456 = 6419754 (6+4+1+9+7+5+4 = 36 = 9X4); 7654321 – 1234567 = 6419754; 8765432 – 2345678 = 6419754; 9876543 – 3456789 =6419754;

8-digit numbers: 76543210 – 01234567 = 75308643 (7+5+3+0+8+6+4+3 = 36 = 9X4; 87654321 – 12345678 = 75308643 98765432 – 23456789= 75308643

9-digit numbers: 876543210 -012345678 = 864197532 (8+6+4+1+9+7+5+3+2 = 45=9X5) 987654321 -123456789 = 864197532;

10-digit numbers: 9876543210 -0123456789 = 9753086421 (9+7+5+3+0+8+6+4+2+1) = 45 = 9X5); 9988664432 -2344668899= 7643995533 (7+6+4+3+9+9+5+5+3+3) = 54=9X6).

19. On a numeric keypad or calculator, the numbers from left to right and top to bottom are…
789 – row 1
456 – row 2
123 – row 3

If you add up the totals of each row you get… row1 is 7 + 8 + 9 = 24 , row2 is 4 + 5 + 6 = 15 , row3 is 1 + 2 + 3 = 6 The difference between each sum is 9. (24 – 15 =9 or 15 – 6 = 9)

20. Nine is strongly associated with the Chinese dragon, a symbol of magic and power. There are nine forms of the dragon, it is described in terms ofnine attributes, and it has nine children.

21. In Thai, the word for nine, ‘gao’, is the same as the verb for ‘to develop or progress’.

22. In astrology, the ninth sign of the Zodiac is Sagittarius, identifiedby the Greeks as a centaur. Centaurs are magical creatures known for their skills as archers, philosophers, and predictors of the future.

23. In classical music the curse of the ninth refers to the superstition that a composer whowrites a ninth symphony will die soon. Beethoven, who left his Tenth Symphony unfinished, is regarded by the superstition as the first victim of the curse.

24. The Beatles released a song called “Revolution 9” which appears on The White Album (more properly known as The Beatles); its principle vocal featureis a voice repeating, “Number nine…number nine…number nine…” John Lennon, the primary composer of “Revolution 9″, also released a solo recording entitled”#9 Dream”. The Beatles also released a song called “One After 909” in 1970, although it was recorded in 1969, and Lennon and McCartney had worked on it since the very early days. Lennon is known to have felt a connection with the number 9. Both he and his son, Sean were born on October 9th. Also, John died on the 9th (UK Time). Ironically, of all the Beatles’ singlesthat made the U.S. Top 10 in Billboard, all peak positions were covered except #9.

25. The whole nine yards has a few possible origins, but a common thought of it’s origin is that tailors use nine yards of material to make top quality suits.

26. There are 360 degrees in a circle. 3 + 6 + 0 = 9.

27. The earth rotates 15 degrees per hour through 24 different time zones, 1 per hour. 24 – 15 = 9. 24 x 15 = 360 or a full rotation.