Compare Me Not

“Oh, there you go, comparing me,
to every little model on the tv screen”

That’s a hook from Destiny Child’s song “Through with love”

Comparing people is as bad as it gets. Nobody likes to be compared to another person. It creates envy, jealousy and enmity.

If you doubt me, hype and praise your boyfriend/girlfriend’s friend in his or her presence, he or she “must” search for something bad about the person to tell you.

Parents are the emperors of the comparison kingdom, they compare their kids to the kids of their friends and other family members. I’m pretty sure no kid likes to be compared with the sibling or a family friend’s child.

Parents fail to understand that even brothers/twins from the same womb have different destinies. The gift Obi is endowed with is totally different from what Emeka is blessed with so why compare them?

Although parents believe the comparison ought to spur the child to work harder and reach the acme of his endeavours, it can make the child to believe he’s never good enough or he’s not accepted by the parents.

In 2000 Blockbuster, The Gladiator, Emperor Marcus Aurelius (played by Richard Harris) caused an enmity between him, his son and heir to the throne, Commodus (played by Joaquin Phoenix) and General Maximus Decimus Meridius (played by Russell Crowe) when he made known his intention to grant temporary leadership to Maximus before dying.

Commodus already bitter that his father favours Maximus over him, murders his father in a fit of rage and claims the throne before ordering the execution of Maximus, his wife and son.

Comparisons with others who are better off or superior on an upward comparison can lower self-regard whereas downward comparisons can elevate self-regard.

A good example of upward social comparison relates to women and their perceptions of the self and others. For example, a woman looks at images of idealized others, and feels as though she is not equal to what she sees.

Some women have reported making upward comparisons in a positive manner for the purposes of self-motivation, but the majority of upward comparisons are made when the individual is feeling lesser and therefore evoke a negative connotation.

Comparing people rarely ends well, let’s push it under the carpet.

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5 Replies to “Compare Me Not”

  1. On point.bt if U̶̲̥̅̊ don’t compare hw do U̶̲̥̅̊ knw d best? If U̶̲̥̅̊ compare havard and Ebsu,U̶̲̥̅̊ sure wld knw dt Havard is better.My totz sha

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  2. Nice piece! Buh sumtimes comparison with our peers might be all the motivation we need to excel. Sumtimes too it can be very counter productive. So I tink it all depends on who ȋ̊s doing d comparing, how he ȋ̊s doing it and d people being compared!

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  3. Well people too much of everything is bad. I think his we should know where to draw d line and we dont always ve to certify ourselves by comparing ourselves to others. As for parents, if dey only compare u with others and never commend u den u re d problem. try and change and ve a good quality at least.

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  4. I think this a two way thing,I remember growing up with my twin sis.I was a chronic stammerer and my mum usually compared me with her,I felt v.v.v.bad bt I made some drastic moves and today I can speak any where,to any body or any occassion.

    So you see the beauty….thanks 2 mama!

    Like

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