Decisions by Judie

As we both laughed uncontrollably at a joke Zee had just told, I looked up at him with my head rested on his thigh and felt a tug in my heart, one month ago if you had asked me who I would wanna marry I would have said Zee without hesitating.

I loved Zee, that was without doubt, after years of searching, I thought I had finally met the one but fast forward three years later while having dinner I asked Zee if he could marry me.

“Marry you? Babes, are you proposing to me?”

“No I’m not, I’m asking you if you can marry me, if you make up your mind to get married tomorrow, will?!”

“Look , this is rather sudden, can you give me a week to think about it?”

“A week? You wanna decide in a week what you haven’t decided in three years? That’s fucked up Zee!!!! That’s truly fucked up!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I tried to steady my shaking hand as I grabbed my fork, I didn’t want to lose my cool in front of him or come across as desperate but surely after three bloody years I had every right to ask didn’t i? my thoughts were in a turmoil.

We ignored each other for the rest of the dinner and on the way home, we silently did our nightly rituals and got in bed and thus it began. I travelled back home and faced work squarely, I rarely called and texted like I used to, I missed Zee terribly but something in me had died that night and I knew he wasn’t what or who I had thought he was. Our relationship took a nose dive and I wasn’t perturbed, I slowly stopped giving a damn and didn’t care anymore. Most nights I cried myself to sleep remembering the beautiful memories we had made together and what we would have had, three weeks had gone by without a word to either of us from either of us.

This sunny afternoon I was having lunch with my girls when I saw him, my heart didn’t skip and I didn’t have butterflies, I just glanced at him with a passing interest especially at his pink lips. He walked up to our table and asked if he could join us which got my friends into a tizzy, fluttering and clucking like newly beheaded chickens and I could swear they were wondering who he fancied.

Chima is a renaissance man, he knows something about everything and everything about something, we all talked and laughed like old friends and he collected everyone’s card. I got back to work and couldn’t stop thinking about him, I realized I was going crazy when I found myself kneeling in the office kitchen praying I was the one he would call. My phone buzzed repeatedly and it was my girls texting to say Chima had sent them messages, I quickly checked my phone and there was no message, disappointment pierced me like a knife and I was surprised at how much I had wanted him to pick me, I had never cheated on Zee and I felt a little but guilty but it felt like he was no longer in the picture.

Three days later someone called and invited me to dinner and it was Chima, the connection we felt was soo sudden but yet soo strong, I felt like I had fallen in love with him but it was just too soon to be in love, no? We talked, we laughed, argued like old lover. We started seeing each other every night after that but we never got intimate, just the regular hand holding, little kisses here and there and it felt like all was right with the world but no my bubble wasn’t to last long.

Zee mysteriously landed at my apartment just 3 minutes after I had kissed Chima goodnight at the door, he barged in and carried me in his arms, we kissed passionately and ended up on the couch, we talked about everything except the reason we hadn’t talked to each other in over a month.

As we both laughed uncontrollably at a joke Zee had just told, I looked up at him with my head rested on his thigh and felt a tug in my heart, one month ago if you had asked me who I would wanna marry I would have said Zee without hesitating and looking up at him from my vantage position I knew he was going to propose and I didn’t know what my answer would be.

Zee got up and walked into the bedroom, a few minutes later he hollered for me to come join him, I walked with trepidation towards the bedroom, I could already see flower petals scattered all over and Zee on one knee, just as I was about to step over the threshold into the bedroom, my cell –phone started bleating from the living room, it was the beginnings of Lionel Richie’s “Hello” and it was Chima’s ringtone.

I stood trans-fixed, knowing that though neither knew about the other, it was a life defining moment for me. Who would it be Chima or Zee?

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16 Replies to “Decisions by Judie”

  1. Well if I were her,I would marry zee if he proposed,3years aint 3 days….. Rinz,I like what u are doing with dis blog,keep up d good work. More grease to your elbow.

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  2. Yawa don gas!!! Abegi if I was d one I’d take Zee. The devil u know is better than d devil u don’t know. ‘Umunwoke of these days A̶̲̥̅̊я̲̣̥ε̲̣̣̣̥ to b feared!’ The chima might be d prince charming in d morning ɑηd a demon at night. Lady u’ve got to think well b4 taking a step.

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  3. Y’all saying she should pick Zee dont forget she had to bully him into proposing to her and they hadnt talked in almost 2 months, what if he had sneaky reasons for proposing?like maybe he found out he had cancer or something. Sometimes we need to move away from the past and welcom the future

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  4. Dnt kick chima nor zee.. Pray & investigate d both of them esp. Zee and his all of a sudden motive of proposing to u. Judith, might be right dat zee has sneaky reasons. Check his health status, finances, wot really happened after d long silence & his movements/motives. Be wise.. Shine ur well well

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  5. I think none Zee would b d best hubby 4 her o.Chima may begin treatin her badly afta some months.dis is jos d 1st stage in their relatnship.

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  6. Zeee is the right person because for 3yrs he couldn’t have been faking life,but chime coould,cos he is still fresh in the relationship.she must av seen the good and the bad syd of zee but chima is still new and his bad syd may b worse…….ZEE is the man

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  7. I’ve always been afraid my life will come down to this.

    By the way, Arinze, in response to your question about what I fear most, having to eventually choose just one woman is somewhere at the top part of the list, for me!

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  8. Y r u guys so into Zee?? I wldn’t marry a guy i bullied into proposing! I wld advise she waits a little longer to knw chima n then chose.afterall,Zee kept her waitn for almst 2months…

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  9. @judith, You can’t ‘bully’ a man into proposing to you esp. After everything they had abruptly ground to a halt after the incident. It was probably a realization thing on zee’s side after testing the waters for a month or more. 3yrs with just 1 person isn’t a joke. Meanwhile, no matter the intentions, men will see a woman as desperate if she pops up such a question “can you marry me”?. As for chima, most r/ships start that way, they seem rosy initially…… At the end of the day, because she dated zee for 3yrs doesn’t mean he’s the one.. But like they say, the devil you know……………

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