Nobody Has It Easy

Sitting on a sofa in my living room and listening to John Legend’s song Everybody Knows, a line in the song hit me. He sang “…nobody has it easy, I still can’t believe, you found somebody new but I wish you the best, I guess…”

In deed, nobody has it easy. The day I watched a documentary on Michael Jackson and how he was declined a role in a movie, I couldn’t believe it. This is somebody the whole world knows, infact the only thing more popular than the man nicknamed Wacko Jacko is Coca-Cola yet he was rejected by a director who wasn’t even as popular as Steven Seagal; this left him distraught and depressed.

Celebrities do suffer heart breaks, loneliness, lack of privacy etc yet we model our lives after theirs believing they have it all easy. Well, they don’t!

A chat with a colleague yesterday left me non-plussed and infuriated; the dude dismissed the importance of family, citing he doesn’t care about children/heir and he would “kill” to be as affluent as Aliko Dangote or Mike Adenuga.

The truth is that we always believe what we don’t have is better than what we have. American rapper Marshall Mathers aka EMINEM said in his song BEAUTIFUL, “…walk a thousand miles in my shoes just to see what its like to me, I’ll be you – lets trade shoes, just to see what it’d be like. To feel your pain, you feel mine. Go inside each other’s minds, just to see what we’d find, look at shit through each other’s eyes…”

It would be nice if people didn’t look over the fence and think someone else has it easier than him or her…you never know what just goes on in other people’s lives. Just enjoy your life to the best of your ability.

Nobody has it easy, everybody has a problem. Everybody is fighting his or her own war. You don’t know what they are going through. Nobody is perfect, nobody deserves to be.

Happy new week, wish you all a productive week.

DID YOU KNOW

Beyonce has 16 Grammy Awards, 11 MTV Video Music Awards, three American Music Awards, a Billboard Millennium Award, and a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame with Destiny’s Child.

After sex, some men experience feeling of regret and sadness. This is known as post coital tristesse.

A psychology study suggest: When you are single, all you see are happy couples. And when you are committed, all you see are happy singles.

A wannabe ‘incredible hulk’ used industrial paint all over his body. He later found out the paint won’t come off no matter how hard he scrubbed

The average breast weighs 0.45kg and the left boob is usually bigger/larger than the right one.

A ‘dacryphiliac’ is someone who gets aroused from watching people cry.

Music has the ability to repair brain damage as well as return lost memories.

Prolonged cigarette smoking and tight pants are the leading cause of temporary impotence in men.

Some sexologists can determine a woman’s orgasm history by the way she walks.

Bad teeth can cause heart attack.

The word ‘nightmare’ derives from ‘mare’ a goblin from Germanic folklore which rides on people’s chests while they sleep.

Sean Bean (Lord Eddard Stark in The Game of Thrones) wanted to be a professional footballer but his hopes were dashed by an injury. He’s so scared of flying that he hiked to the location in full costume when filming the Lord of The Rings.

A female serial killer in ancient Rome was punished for her crimes by being raped by a giraffe.

When Pope Innocent VIII was on his death bed in 1492, his doctors bled three young boys, killing them and had the pontiff drink their blood to restore his health.

A maid in Singapore has been charged with putting her menstrual blood in her boss’ coffee.

Sex In The Big Brother House

In the wee hours of Saturday morning, fellow housemates, Keagan and Talia had sex not once but four times. Trust Nigerians, we sabi act good but na we do pass. My twitter timeline was flooded with insults for the young girl. She was called a lot of names and labeled a disgrace to womanhood for having sex on International TV.

Sincerely speaking, at a point, I got tired of the tirade and had to “fight” for her. These people who are actually criticizing her, are they even better? Some have done worse things than that. Anyways you know what they say, the rule is “Don’t ever get caught”

I believe reality shows aren’t for Nigerians because we are too sensitive, conservative, judgmental and hypocritical. We don’t condone the sight of bad things on National TV but we do worse in hidden places.

I can recollect the first two Big Brother episodes aka Big Brother South Africa, I mean the ones Ferdinand and Richard won respectively, there was a lot of sex, cuddling, caressing, etc (Ilse Marie slept with Rabin and Richard) in the house , in spite of that the South Africans didn’t criticize these people because they know it’s very hard for adults to stay in the same house for months without them wanting to feel each other up (Read about the Enclosure Syndrome) but since the game became a multi-national affair, things have changed.

The Senate even had to write to Multichoice to scrap the most interesting part of the Big Brother show, The Shower Hour saying it portrays and relays bad message across to the children/populace. Common, if you are that sensitive to nude scenes, you are free and allowed to censor them, DStv has provisions for that. You can block your kids and family from the obscene images.

Nigerians claim to be moral but what goes down in the NYSC Orientation Camp in just three weeks is worse than what goes down in three months of Big Brother adventure, just that it isn’t aired to the whole world.

You’d see young ladies (married & single) frolicking and copulating with NYSC officials, Army Officials and fellow corps members for one reason/favour or the other, in spite of everything we have the audacity and nerve to condemn people’s sexcapades.

MUSIC TRIVIA

The music trivia is back and you know how the game works, I write out the lyrics of a song, you tell me name of the artiste and title of the song.

Here we go….

“All that bullshit’s for the birds, you ain’t nothin but a vulture, always hopin for the worst, waiting for me to fuck up. You’ll regret the day when I find another girl, yeah. That knows just what I need, she knows just what I mean when I tell her keep it drama free”

“It’s gonna burn for me to say this but it’s coming from my heart, it’s been a long time coming but we done been fell apart”

“Drop it to the floor, make that ass shake
Woah make the ground move, that’s an ass quake.Built a house up on that ass, that’s an ass state, roll my weed on it, that’s an ass tray. Say Ye, say Ye, don’t we do this err’ day-day? I work them long nights, long nights to get a pay day”

“Do you love this shit? Are you high right now? Do you ever get nervous? Are you single? I heard you fucked your girl, is it true? You getting money? You think them niggas you with is wit’ you? And I say…”

“I’ve been everywhere, man looking for someone, someone who can please me, love me all night long. I’ve been everywhere, man looking for you babe, looking for you babe,searching for you babe”

“Hey I heard you were a wild one Oooh
If I took you home, it’d be a home run
Show me how you do, I wanna shut down the club with you”

“Nobody wanna see you rising and when they do it they don’t like it, they just wanna see you deep in crises, drive your self you don’t need a license”

“Ain’t this what you came for, don’t you wish you came, oh. Girl what you’re playing for. Come on, let me kiss that
Ooh, I know you miss that. What’s wrong, let me fix that. Twist that”

“Let’s have a toast for the douchebags, Let’s have a toast for the assholes, Let’s have a toast for the scumbags, Every one of them that I know, Let’s have a toast to the jerkoffs That’ll never take work off. Baby, I got a plan”

“When you try your best, but you don’t succeed, when you get what you want, but not what you need, when you feel so tired, but you can’t sleep. Stuck in reverse”

The results will be published here same time tomorrow.

G̶̲̥̅Ơ̴̴̴̴͡.̮Ơ̴̴̴͡D̶̲̥̅ Luck!

Football Induced Psychosis

Football is the most popular sport on planet earth. In Nigeria, football is worshipped and played by a lot of people including me.

Most people are ardent followers of the English Premier League & support teams like Manchester United (Red Devils), Arsenal (Gunners), Chelsea (Blues) & Liverpool (Reds). People roam the streets every weekend to have a glimpse of their team in action on TV. The speed at which premier league football is engulfing Nigerians and the world at large is alarming. You’d see people wearing belts, jerseys, watches, caps, boxers, pants etc just to represent their clubs. Na Chelsea fans do am pass sha. Okada & kabu-kabu drivers are not left out; they decorate their bikes & buses with stickers of their favourite clubs.

I can still recollect back then in 2001 when it was all about Arsenal & Man United, the EPL was less popular, hence there was no news of violence even when these two football heavyweights clashed but now, the story is quite the opposite.

Alas! After the UEFA Champions League final in Rome (May 2009) where Manchester United was trounced, outclassed, outplayed, annihilated, humiliated & taught the game of football by the Numero Uno club in the world at the moment, FC Barcelona, an angry fan in Port Harcourt , Nigeria drove his bus into a crowd of people leaving six people dead &two wounded in the process.

My questions remain “Is this rage worth it? Dem sabi u? Dem dey pay you? These players collect a specified amount of money at the end of every week, match bonus after every match & an extra bonus for taking part in a competition like the UEFA Champions League yet na we dey kill ourselves over nothing.

How do we cure ourselves of this madness abeg?