The Ex Effect: Sex With My Ex

A fortnight ago, I ran into my Ex, Chinelo and her bestie, Nkeoma at the movies. I had gone to watch Total Recall, the new blockbuster starring the multi-talented Colin Farrell but I was told it was yet to hit the cinema so I had to settle for ‘Think like a Man’ for the umpteenth time, I never get tired of seeing that movie though.

Chinelo and I broke up almost two years ago because the fights were getting worse. When a woman is fed up in a relationship, you’d know. She starts bringing up old dirt and gets agitated at the slightest provocation so I used my sagacity and annulled the relationship amicably for both parties to be happy. Although we became friends, we hadn’t seen or talked to each other for 18months.

She looked like a bag of money: sassy, beautiful and enchanting. Chinelo has always been a nymphet; she is worth more than a second look. At a glance, I was bewildered by her pliant lips and curvaceous body. It brought to mind all the good times we had – the mind blowing sex, the incredible adventures and the crazy games we played.

We watched the movie together – though we talked throughout the length of the movie. At the end of the day, we exchanged numbers, twitter handles, BB pins and other relevant information and set up a date in the near future – that’s where all the temptation started!

We hooked up again last Friday, had a drink or two and went back to my place for some sexual eruptions. We couldn’t resist each other; to make it worse, the sex was better than before; it was as if we were never apart. After the first round, my iTunes randomly selected Lil Bit’s joint with Yung Joc and Jim Jones “Sex with my Ex” from my music library. A line in the song goes this way “…can’t believe I’m having sex with my ex” and post coital tristesse set in, we vowed never to do such again but after some minutes, we were at it again.

We wanted each other so bad but there was an obstacle – we had new relationships so in order to save our present relationships, we had to stay away from each other.

Often times, I hear people blabbering about their Ex and it makes me laugh all time. It’s a very common scene on twitter, people diss their Ex every 10minutes on that social network. Some of these people may have gone back to their Ex for sex, care or help at least once in the past but here they are, raking over coals and cursing them on twitter. Anyways, Nigerians are known for their hypocritical ways.

I keep asking myself why we repeatedly feel affection when we see our Ex. This iteration is still mystical to me. I don’t get it, if we still feel something for each other, why then did we separate in the first place? I must say it takes courage, self control and GOD for one to resist the sexual advances of an Ex.

There’s an old Chinese proverb that says: “Insanity is doing the same thing in the same way & expecting a different outcome.” Some often get bemused after these happenchance with their Ex and find themselves craving to go back to them. The fact remains just because you had awesome sex with him/her doesn’t mean when you leave your present partner, that things will be all cosy as you want/expect/dream. Returning to an old flame is like reading a book over and over again expecting a different twist in the end. Things will never be the same again.

23 Replies to “The Ex Effect: Sex With My Ex”

  1. Well penned down piece. It takes quite a lot of discipline to resist an Ex. … Talking from experience here. There are exes we wouldn’t want to go back to cos of a habit of theirs we hitherto could stand, but can’t stand anymore, or those who get unnecessarily attached & clingy, & 10secs of sex will bring all that out, causing damage to a present r/ship or just being a nuisance in our lives. And of course, we had reached a closure. In that/those r/ships so re-opening that circle, not cos of feelings, but sex at times isn’t worth it. Like I said earlier, its discipline! Avoiding situations that will lead to sex is a start…..


  2. Nice post… Most of the time we end up bin wt smone 4 d
    wrong reason.. Maybe the sex is the attraction and even when we are no longa in a rshp wt d person, we stil stil crave for the sex. 2ndly once U̶̲̥̅̊ ve bin laid, dere’s evry chance of a repeat.


  3. SEX plays a big roll in reuniting som1 with his or her Ex, most times young dont really dont know the implications of sex and theirby take it for granted and before you could know xup, your down with the wrong person and letting go becomes difficult….
    i suggest we take our time before having intercourse, especially with som1 we dont feel for…


  4. 90% of people, young and old are very guilty of this. Most times we do it because of adventure or lust . But trust me we all want to do it at some point in our lives.


  5. It happens…..more dangerouse when ur ex is in a mess with her current r/ship..she’ll definetly want back…Nature designs it too#


  6. Nnaa meeehn! Chinx ikogom wif ur last sentence…
    To me, I’ll say this, you’ll only feel aroused sexually to an ex you always needed sex from_ so to say, aside the true feelings of love u shared with ur ex, if u’re not always turned on by them, the chances of a repeat coitus is very minimal esp noting that it’s not all ex one will ever wish to even see eyeball to eyeball.


  7. Hv never happen to me before… But if me and me ex were to meet in a kind of settin wc I hv never allowed to b… Nna men I no fit talk hw it may go o.. Mpiasa tins fit enter.. Just try and avoid dis ex tins cos we hv moved on wit anoda, learn from d mistakes we made in d past rlatnship and wrk on our weaknesses den our present rlationship will sail better.


  8. My X is actuali 1 of my best friends atm.its funi hw we neva workd as a couple bt r inseperable nw.I will admit its risky buisness kuz we r crazy attracted t eachoda,bt d friendship means a lot more t us dan a few rounds of sex.I dnt fink we shud avoid Xz,we shud simply find a way t have dem in out lives without d xtraz……


  9. Onu riri eri adila committed….I beliv de familiarity btw u nd ur ex makes it hard to resist yourselves afterall she/he knows wot to do to get u worked up..


  10. Brilliant piece….. Work out a smooth divide between the past and the future coz ladders are never climbed only in one direction.


  11. Lol. So true. Simply cos of the fact that time blurs all those reasons u broke up with ur ex in the first place .trust me, after a few episodes of sexual encounters with ur ex..those reasons resurface..


  12. Emotional baggage can be deleterious to man. Thou shall not awaken love till one is sincerely ready to do so. Why complicate issues when your life has already been programmed by your MANUFACTURER. Standing on the inexpungeable truth of God’s biblical instruction, SEX before marriage is outrightly an ERROR. It thwarts the original plan God has for a man. And so when it is wrongly applied, will therefore make the foundation faulty and if not reconciled quickly can cause man a colossal collapse and purposelessness.
    The two shall become one. (Paraphrased)
    The life we are living is not an EXPERIMENT. It has a divine plan and process.


  13. Well articulated and I actually enjoyed reading this. What I say is that it’s difficult to avoid intimate moments with an Ex, especially if you were sincerely attracted to them. Okafor’s law will always take precedence.


  14. Very nice piece bro! I think it takes discipline and consideration to avoid such things. If you truly luv and respect your current partner, you won’t go having sex with ur ex no matter the monkey styles he or she’s used to give you.
    When I met ma ex and she started this wholes temptation story, I just told her in the face that I wasn’t interested…..I had to think about how ma my current girlfriend will feel if she found out.


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