Hospital Combat

Recently, I was banned from a Facebook group (Scientists in Development) for dropping provocative yet honest comments on the page.
Yeah, I know some of you don’t know this but I’m actually a medical laboratory scientist by profession and there’s an ongoing war between doctors and laboratory scientists in hospitals across the nation.

The fight for supremacy in hospitals has reached its apogee; the doctors see themselves as the messiah, the laboratory scientists want to be level with doctors and the nurses, well, they complete the triad.

This face-off makes me laugh rather than agitate me, I guess now you understand why I was banished from the Facebook group.

I do comprehend the plight of my colleagues; the doctors are egotistical. I don’t know if it’s a personal thing or they were taught that in Ethics class. Well, I must admit not all of them are conceited; my elder sister and my friend, Oseyi are both doctors but they are among the down-to-earth people I’ve met.

Doctors often feel superior to everybody and expect others to tremble at the sound of their voice. They head a lot of departments in the hospital and they are also threatening to take over the laboratory department too. Wait! What am I even saying! They have already taken over the laboratory. Consultant pathologists control laboratory departments in Teaching Hospitals across the nation.

When I asked a friend why they would boss the lab, he smugly replied “because we are doctors”. Another friend went further and said they don’t hanker for the Pharmacy because they are the only ones who perform, apart from them, of course! Imagine!!!!

Albert Einstein made a very important statement: “We can’t solve problems by using the same kind of thinking we used when we created them.” I told my colleagues they are the problem not the doctors and only if they fight the problem would they gain respect. Omo the kind abuse wey I receive no b here oh. Most senior scientists I’ve come by have no masters or doctorate degree; they are contented with just a bachelor’s degree. They feel substandard to doctors, who write exams every year to get to the acme of their profession and often shudder with fear in the presence of doctors. They are yet to recognize their worth. I mean, diagnosis is the bedrock of medicine. When I did my internship program, I squared off against a Consultant; you don’t come to my duty post and tell me what to do. I know my worth, my role and I play it well!

Some of the male scientists lie about having an MBBS when they woo girls because they already have it at the back of their minds that doctors are better than them. British actor, Peter Dinklage alias the Dwarf/Tyrion Lannister in the TV hit series “The Game of Thrones” once said “Never forget what you are. The rest of the world will not. Wear it like armor and it can never be used against you.”

The title “doctor” doesn’t make one better or more intelligent than you; forget all these medical jargons they spit all the time – even in clubs/bars. For instance, a proud doctor would rather use the word ‘masticate’ than ‘chew’ just to let you know a doctor is in your midst. One day, I was out drinking with some colleagues and a doctor friend. Suddenly, the doctor deviated from our gist about money and women and started talking about the link between alcoholism and cytochrome p450, an enzyme that catalyses the oxidation of organic substances in the body; I hate when people do that, life is not all about medicine you know. One of the scientist guys cut him off midway and gave him a proper lecture.

In spite of this, we all can learn from one another and need each other for the betterment of the patients but here we are, fighting over nothing. When a patient visits a hospital, a nurse takes his or her vital signs and sends him/her to a doctor, who clerks the patient and sends him/her to a lab scientist to diagnose and ascertain what’s amiss; after the diagnosis, the lab scientist sends the result back to the doctor to prescribe some drugs, after which the patient heads to the pharmacy where the pharmacist dispenses the drugs to him. You see, it’s an interwoven web or should I say, a merry-go-round and they all need each other.

26 Replies to “Hospital Combat”

  1. Nna eh… So no be only me don see am? The interesting things is that for me… They can only do that crap in the hospitals and for their fellow med professionals. I nye ha onodu ha, ha anoro one place. But ndi Lab sokwa a cause the whole thing. An Igbo saying goes: “a diro a di abua ayi ara”.


  2. Am optimistic very soon tins will fall in2 place•workers in d medical sector are all part of a team 2 save lives•very very soon d ups n downs will b brought 2 rest


  3. You forgot the nursing dept,dia craze neva reach dat side cos they can’t handle the i always tell my friends dat are drs,i dnt lik hanging out wit u guys cos ur gist no pass disease condition.they use medical terms,nt for u to knw dat a dr is around bt bcos dey r not versatile in other areas and can’t contribute to any oda story dat isn’t medical so bear wit dem.


  4. You forgot the nursing dept,dia craze neva reach dat side cos they can’t handle the women and they can’t do the work nurses i always tell my friends dat are drs,i dnt lik hanging out wit u guys cos ur gist no pass disease condition.they use medical terms,nt for u to knw dat a dr is around bt bcos dey r not versatile in other areas and can’t contribute to any oda story dat isn’t medical so bear wit dem.


  5. Why do Drs feel that proud? Simple, its starts from home. Your parents hammer it into your head from the moment you can tell your left from right that medicine is the father of all courses. After millions enter it in JAMB, only a few thousand in a country of over 200mil make it… With just a handful of them graduating after almost 10yrs. I fully understand the root of their pride but then, the nurses & lab scientists role can never be overemphasized and they need to learn that. … I think they do though but choose to ignore it


    1. They choose to ignore it, yeah ryt. An experienced theatre nurse knows more than a house officer doctor but pride won’t let him to stoop and learn. Science evolves everyday, go check out the emerging infectious diseases, most of em were discovered by scientists not doctors. We all need each other!


  6. You hit the nail on the head my friend, lab scientists should futher their studies, if one knows his worth no 1 can make you feel inferior witout your consent and you will be able to pour out stuff wenever need be…


    1. Exactly…further ur education but most importantly don’t talk about it but be about it. U can have msc, phd or professorship and still be a novice. Knowledge is power!!!!!


  7. Its unfortunate but I think inferiority complex is a factor. No one can ever make you feel inferior with out ur ur agreeing to it. If u know u re good at wot u do then don’t let anyone talk badly at you. Afterall u are in ur office.


    1. In Nigeria, people are always ever ready to blame others for their misfortunes. That is how all these ‘fake’ pastors wriggle into the minds of their followers by telling them exactly what they want to hear ie a relative is the cause of their mishaps.
      Scientist feel inferior because they don’t want to further their education, most of them are contented with the bachelor’s degree and the pay that comes with it. And that’s the problem!!!


  8. The fox and the “soured” grapes. Medicine is both clinical n laboratory, so, it is obvious dat d fact dat over 90percent of drs hit d clinic after getin an MBBS make U̶̲̅ fink U̶̲̅ have a monopoly over the labs. A good medical diagnosis here in the tropics is over 60percnt history, 20percent physical exam n less dan 20percnt investigatns(lab, radiology, etc). D height of quackery is when a lab scientist makes d “ultimate” diagnosis cos he ends up treating the result and not d patient. Moreover, barking at doctors when they come to d labs for stuff isn’t a gud way to deal wif inferiority complex cos dey didn’t mark ur JAMB nor did dey fail u out of medicine… U r all sounding lyk lab scientists r angels. We know how much u’ll exhibit ur inferiority complexes at blood banks till patients in theatre die. Although some doctors r big jerks but dats a personal problem not general… D society has alredi placed priority on med n surgery n dats y most of u made it ur first choice… U dnt blame us for dat.


    1. It’s now obvious to me that you people are myopic. I aint fighting with anybody, our nigerian mentality has made you believe so, well, I don’t blame you. I said in my first note before your colleague replied, we all need each other but if you feel you are the boss, then so be it!


    2. Then about inferiority complex….bro don’t go there, I’ll wash you down! In my first note, I implored my colleagues to further their studies citing they are the cause of their problems not doctors, I guess you closed your eyes when you were reading that part.


  9. Guess its †̥ђe̶̲̥̅ lab scientists that are doing †̥ђe̶̲̥̅ fighting. This shouldn’t be an arguement in anyway. With a thousand reasons, doctors still got an edge with all being equal.


  10. arinze,bravo! I think d guys with d stethoscope r engrossed with d quest 4 cheap popularity. They r actually suffering 4rm pituitary basophilism. I hv always told my colleagues 2 study more.


  11. well,yea,many docs don’t know much outside starts from med skl.i rememba betting wit a classmate in final yr dt over 40 percent of our class guys didn’t knowd Vice presdo of naija.then,it ws GEJ.we did a random study n it ws worse.60 percent! Worse amongst ladies. Dt’s y i enjoy d company of law of course,there brilliant xceptions.i usu don’t get interested in d lab/nurse/doc power tug.jst do my part n i’m already out.
    D only time i get annoyd is wen bastards engage in power play at d xpense of a patient’s life.i ws a HO in d Special Care Baby unit n u know how hard it cud b getting blood from dis pre-term babies.we cud only get jst ova 4.6ml.d punk-ass lab guy insisted on 5ml! I then suggestd to my Reg dt we damn d lab n proceed without d SEUC result n my Chief refused.We r talking icterus here n d future of d kid here,bastards!…


  12. Lool @anonymous calm down eh,itz only in d east sef dat bn a doctor z d ish,go to places like ph middle belt regions dey dnt care for ur certificate or d am a doctor arrogance,n ur thinking z a lil narrow(no offence),coz not evry1 in medlab/nursing failed out of medicine,some actually filled d medlab/nursing in dier jamb form..itz pple like u dat are actually d probe sef, coz most of ma frndz r doctors n dey r very nice


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